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The diary entries of a little girl in her 30s! ~ Part 2 - Page 95  

post #1411 of 21760
Being at college I've been exposed to many types of people--types that I haven't ever worked with or talked to before.

It's cool to meet all these people but they've made me realize something -- I have a childish personality. While my actions and my goals are not any more, if not less, childish than other people my age, the way I act is not representative of anything resembling a grown up or a "man" so to speak. I'm not trying to fit into stereotypes, but I'd say after all my years of being alive I haven't really ascended to maturity.

The question looming over me is if I should actively try to change myself to reach that ideal maturity that I've observed in others, or if I should just continue "being myself" and hoping that I'll eventually slowly become something like that.
post #1412 of 21760

While it is great to grow up and know responsibility. It is never good to try and measure to everyone else' ideals. Generally most people have their own agendas and could give a rats-ass about you. Just try not to take things too personally. They don't. If you decide to change do it for you (not for others).
 


Edited by lee730 - 10/1/12 at 12:03am
post #1413 of 21760
Quote:
Originally Posted by jgray91 View Post


Cobbled up something just for the fun on it, and because the head fits perfectly-ish.

 

Is that for you or for maverick?


Home of the Liquid Carbon, Liquid Crimson, Liquid Glass, Liquid Gold and
Liquid Lightning headphone amplifiers... and the upcoming Liquid Spark!

post #1414 of 21760

No.

post #1415 of 21760
Quote:
Originally Posted by DigitalFreak View Post

Yeah I turned 42 on the 27th of Sept and thanks. I just came back from the customary Sunday birthday lunch with my folks. If was a nice time.

42? I'm turning 18 next Wednesday, but dang, I suddenly feel really young. Well, maybe that's because I am really young.
Quote:
Originally Posted by warrenpchi View Post

Wow, you're older than me!  For some reason, I have it in my head that most everyone in here is younger than me.  That lunch thing sounds like a nice tradition.

There's a Chinese tradition that my family likes to hold on to where everyone eats noodles on a person's birthday.  Supposed to symbolize longevity (some razor thin reasoning about the length of noodles and what not).  Prob is - with the exception of a very few select dishes - I don't like noodles.  frown.gif

I love noodles. Other than treating others there are no real birthday traditions here.
Which reminds me, my dad was once in the US on his birthday for work reasons, and people started treating him. He was astounded, since in Dutch culture it's always the birthday boy that has to bring the cake.

Other things about Dutch culture and birthdays,
1) Forgetting one's birthday is absolute social blasphemy. It shall not be tolerated.
2) When it's someone's birthday, you don't just congratulate the person in question, you also have to congratulate his relatives. (by giving three kisses on the cheek, of course).
Quote:
Originally Posted by jgray91 View Post


Cobbled up something just for the fun on it, and because the head fits perfectly-ish.

What's with you and bad shops rolleyes.gif
Quote:
Originally Posted by compoopers View Post

Being at college I've been exposed to many types of people--types that I haven't ever worked with or talked to before.
It's cool to meet all these people but they've made me realize something -- I have a childish personality. While my actions and my goals are not any more, if not less, childish than other people my age, the way I act is not representative of anything resembling a grown up or a "man" so to speak. I'm not trying to fit into stereotypes, but I'd say after all my years of being alive I haven't really ascended to maturity.
The question looming over me is if I should actively try to change myself to reach that ideal maturity that I've observed in others, or if I should just continue "being myself" and hoping that I'll eventually slowly become something like that.

Don't change. There is nothing wrong with being childish, in fact, if being childish is what makes you enjoy the every day live more, then getting rid of it is exactly what you shouldn't do.

I very frequently troll people out of habit, and pretty much everyone knows my love for Japanese pop culture.
Are you afraid of being judged or something like that? That would be the only reason to try and improve your image. I for one, don't care what others think about me. And as expected, others don't give a damn about my childish outward behavior either.

Just be yourself. I once tried to put up a mask and become a different person, and I have to say that I failed miserably. Don't make the same mistake.
Quote:
Originally Posted by maverickronin View Post

No.
Yes.
Edited by Tilpo - 10/1/12 at 1:12am
post #1416 of 21760
I'm not really talking about my interests so much as the way I present myself. I like to play games and I'm in marching band and I'm a bit goofy. Not at all ashamed of the things I do. Just the way I act, sort of. Subtle things, you know?

For instance, I find it hard to keep up a good conversation with certain types of people -- popular, interesting people, who you'd think it would be easy to have a conversation with. I'm an intelligent guy so I always wondered why that was -- with friends, conversation comes easily and naturally, but with people I don't know that well, it doesn't come to me well at all. I did some analysis and I found that I am not an engaging person with people who I don't know well -- I often give short responses rather than continuing a conversation with another question, I laugh at people's jokes too much rather than thinking of a witty response to keep the conversation going, my own jokes fall flat because I talk too quickly and don't deliver well. That way, when I'm talking to people, rather than "What's your major?" "Business" "Oh, that's cool!" I can actually pause, think of something actually worthwhile to say, and say it. Or, for instance, "What's your major?" "Business, but I'm taking so many GE classes that I'm practically a Philosophy major" "Hahaha!" Instead of just laughing it off, I'd like to be able to actually control myself and say something in return. I've observed most socially successful people here on campus and they're able to do that on the fly.

It's more those kinds of things -- presentation, delivery, the way I react to people, that I'm trying to improve. I'm not trying to change who I am, just the outer face that people interact with, so to speak. Does that make sense?

It's hard for me because obviously I only see myself from my inner perspective. It's hard to tell how others see me, so the way I see myself is different than how others do.
Edited by compoopers - 10/1/12 at 1:19am
post #1417 of 21760
Quote:
Originally Posted by compoopers View Post

I'm not really talking about my interests so much as the way I present myself. I like to play games and I'm in marching band and I'm a bit goofy. Not at all ashamed of the things I do. Just the way I act, sort of. Subtle things, you know?
For instance, I find it hard to keep up a good conversation with certain types of people -- popular, interesting people, who you'd think it would be easy to have a conversation with. I'm an intelligent guy so I always wondered why that was -- with friends, conversation comes easily and naturally, but with people I don't know that well, it doesn't come to me well at all. I did some analysis and I found that I am not an engaging person with people who I don't know well -- I often give short responses rather than continuing a conversation with another question, I laugh at people's jokes too much rather than thinking of a witty response to keep the conversation going, my own jokes fall flat because I talk too quickly and don't deliver well. That way, when I'm talking to people, rather than "What's your major?" "Business" "Oh, that's cool!" I can actually pause, think of something actually worthwhile to say, and say it. Or, for instance, "What's your major?" "Business, but I'm taking so many GE classes that I'm practically a Philosophy major" "Hahaha!" Instead of just laughing it off, I'd like to be able to actually control myself and say something in return. I've observed most socially successful people here on campus and they're able to do that on the fly.
It's more those kinds of things -- presentation, delivery, the way I react to people, that I'm trying to improve. I'm not trying to change who I am, just the outer face that people interact with, so to speak. Does that make sense?
It's hard for me because obviously I only see myself from my inner perspective. It's hard to tell how others see me, so the way I see myself is different than how others do.

I see.

I know exactly what you mean. I personally notice there are a lot of people I have difficulty making a conversation with, but I've simply learned to ignore those people. People with similar interests and intelligence make much better conversation partners, and I love talking with them. There are many occasions in which I've had deep talks of mathematics on the bus with a friend of mine. It's always funny watching other people look at you while you're talking that way. cool.gif
I personally don't really see the benefit in talking a lot to people with dissimilar interests (or intelligence), since making a good conversation will always be difficult. So far I've noticed that most of the 'popular' people do not fall into my category of interest, so I just ignore them.

Perhaps there's a difference between the two studies as well? This may be prejudice talking, but you're probably going to come meet a LOT more introverts when you're doing a double major Mathematics and Physics. Especially when you spend a large amount of free time hanging around in a manga cafe as well.
post #1418 of 21760
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tilpo View Post

I love noodles. Other than treating others there are no real birthday traditions here.

 

Many Asian cultures are like that as well.  The theory being that the presence and well-wishes of friends and family are the real gift.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tilpo View Post

Which reminds me, my dad was once in the US on his birthday for work reasons, and people started treating him. He was astounded, since in Dutch culture it's always the birthday boy that has to bring the cake.

 

Well, we're a consumer culture here.  If there's cause for celebration, then there's cause to buy stuff.  Birthday?  Buy stuff.  Memorial Day?  Buy stuff.  Savior of all mankind is supposedly born in the ancient equivalent of a parking garage?  Buy LOTS of stuff.  We've got that buying stuff stuff down to an art.  It's the paying for it that we have trouble with.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tilpo View Post

Other things about Dutch culture and birthdays,
1) Forgetting one's birthday is absolute social blasphemy. It shall not be tolerated.

 

But since I didn't know it was DF's birthday, I get a free pass this year right?

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tilpo View Post

Other things about Dutch culture and birthdays,
2) When it's someone's birthday, you don't just congratulate the person in question, you also have to congratulate his relatives. (by giving three kisses on the cheek, of course).

 

I'm not tall enough.  frown.gif

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tilpo View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by maverickronin View Post

No.


Yes.

 

Lol.


Home of the Liquid Carbon, Liquid Crimson, Liquid Glass, Liquid Gold and
Liquid Lightning headphone amplifiers... and the upcoming Liquid Spark!

post #1419 of 21760

You both have good points. Comp it's usually better to fit in with people who you are comfortable around to begin with. As I said earlier don't try to change yourself for other peoples sake. I know what you mean but at the same time the way you would go about it is to fit in with people who you really would not have any common interest/ideals with. Thus your natural responses to begin with, maybe take up acting lol if you must. A good actor makes for a good liar ;). The subconscious mind is a powerful thing. I feel the same way as you do a lot of the time. Many times I feel like I'm on the spot and have to entertain people. At times this can be quite nice but a lot of the time it can be quite irritating and draining, just how my mind works. I'm naturally introverted and find myself drained by others. I'll then need to recharge lol ;).
 


Edited by lee730 - 10/1/12 at 6:20am
post #1420 of 21760
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sylverant View Post

How much did your 128gb cost you?

$155 for 128gb Super Talent ZT2. I'll pm you a link because as I write this im not sure whether the seller has any left: there were only a couple remaining in stock when I bought one.
Edited by ardgedee - 10/1/12 at 1:45am
post #1421 of 21760
@warren, I just did the shop for fun since I thought that kino pix just fit Scotty's face, our rather neck.

@tilpo, hey hey hey. Hey. I just woke up and did that in 20 min. And just a s an exercise to get to know GIMP.
post #1422 of 21760
Quote:
Originally Posted by driver 8 View Post

He then put his hand on my shoulder, told me I was a good kid, and wandered off.

 

That story is going in the next Chicken Soup For the Soul.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by compoopers View Post

Being at college I've been exposed to many types of people--types that I haven't ever worked with or talked to before.
It's cool to meet all these people but they've made me realize something -- I have a childish personality. While my actions and my goals are not any more, if not less, childish than other people my age, the way I act is not representative of anything resembling a grown up or a "man" so to speak. I'm not trying to fit into stereotypes, but I'd say after all my years of being alive I haven't really ascended to maturity.
The question looming over me is if I should actively try to change myself to reach that ideal maturity that I've observed in others, or if I should just continue "being myself" and hoping that I'll eventually slowly become something like that.

 

Reminds me of that Corinthians passage quoted in Ghost In The Shell:

 

 

Quote:
"When I was a child, my speech, feelings, and thinking were all those of a child; now that I am a man, I have no more use for childish ways. What we see now is like a dim image in a mirror; then we shall see face-to-face. What I know now is only partial; then it will be complete-as complete as God's knowledge of me".

 

 

That passage aside, I  tend to trust in the idea that people mature across different dimensions at their own rate. I know a friend around my age (very early 20's) who is best described at times as a 'squealing fangirl' who wants to wear kimonos all the time, yet at the same time she's been holding a mortgage for a house since high school. One doesn't just suddenly 'become mature'... in the end you meet with different experiences and you sometimes find yourself with the opportunity to extend yourself for them. Since everyone has different experiences and mature in different ways, I think you can just trust in life to age you in myriad ways.

 

One instance where I can recognise where I've matured is in regards to friends. One day I found myself realising that it was something of tremendous value to have friends who I could not speak to for months or years, who might have moved far away or fell out of the same circles that you follow - but a single phone call or text message if they were in town / available and suddenly it was as if no time had passed at all.

 

The idea of these kinds of strong ties never really even entered my mind when I was younger (the idea just seemed sentimental and unrealistic to me when I felt like I had to actively make a constant effort to socialise). And yet I kind of cherish those friendships now and I can see myself appreciating them even more when I'm older. I don't know if this is maturity or just common sense, but perhaps there is little to separate the two.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by compoopers View Post

I'm not really talking about my interests so much as the way I present myself. I like to play games and I'm in marching band and I'm a bit goofy. Not at all ashamed of the things I do. Just the way I act, sort of. Subtle things, you know?
For instance, I find it hard to keep up a good conversation with certain types of people -- popular, interesting people, who you'd think it would be easy to have a conversation with. I'm an intelligent guy so I always wondered why that was -- with friends, conversation comes easily and naturally, but with people I don't know that well, it doesn't come to me well at all. I did some analysis and I found that I am not an engaging person with people who I don't know well -- I often give short responses rather than continuing a conversation with another question, I laugh at people's jokes too much rather than thinking of a witty response to keep the conversation going, my own jokes fall flat because I talk too quickly and don't deliver well. That way, when I'm talking to people, rather than "What's your major?" "Business" "Oh, that's cool!" I can actually pause, think of something actually worthwhile to say, and say it. Or, for instance, "What's your major?" "Business, but I'm taking so many GE classes that I'm practically a Philosophy major" "Hahaha!" Instead of just laughing it off, I'd like to be able to actually control myself and say something in return. I've observed most socially successful people here on campus and they're able to do that on the fly.
It's more those kinds of things -- presentation, delivery, the way I react to people, that I'm trying to improve. I'm not trying to change who I am, just the outer face that people interact with, so to speak. Does that make sense?
It's hard for me because obviously I only see myself from my inner perspective. It's hard to tell how others see me, so the way I see myself is different than how others do.

 

I wouldn't fret. I think small talk is a matter of habit, like lines at a party. You can generally guess where most of these kinds of conversations are going to go, and you're probably going to work out a good response sooner or later and pretty much repeat it ad nauseum.

 

This is a wonderful and good humored book I've read written by a man who tries to save his deteriorating marriage and improve his 'social performances' after a diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome puts a fresh perspective on everything. I'm not even remotely suggesting you have Aspergers but I think it's a universally relatable endeavour when he tries to make a notebook full of social rules he should follow like "Apologies do not count when you shout them". You might like it too!

post #1423 of 21760
Quote:
Originally Posted by a_recording View Post

I think small talk is a matter of habit, like lines at a party. You can generally guess where most of these kinds of conversations are going to go, and you're probably going to work out a good response sooner or later and pretty much repeat it ad nauseum.

Social skills are what you learn around the people you cannot opt out of being around. This usually is your family -- but not necessarily school. Unless you attend a very, very small school, chances are good the student population is large enough that you and your peers will eventually self-select from among yourselves, and split into smaller groups of common interests and social affects.

Small talk is impenetrable, or at best difficult to fathom, for some people. And for others it's integral to the act of socialization. It's not necessarily the fault of the people who don't understand small talk; if it never occurred around them (no small talk at home before you were old enough to go to school, and later making friends at school who, likewise, are minimal on the chatter), it's not something they grow up navigating.

Learning to navigate these things is important. As an adult, you will have to spend much of your life around people you don't choose to be with. Things like small talk are essential tools for engaging with people you don't know and who don't share your interests, or have social affects unlike yours. Having to learn from scratch as an adult makes the effort much more difficult, but it helps bridge your differences from other people and makes it easier for them to make accommodations for you as well.

If this sounds overly lecturing, sorry about that. This is really mostly my thinking aloud, as it stems from some long-developing thoughts about the social contexts I grew up within and around, and how it contrasts with my partner's formative years, and how that has affected our different perspectives on relationships and society.
Edited by ardgedee - 10/1/12 at 6:03am
post #1424 of 21760
Thread Starter 
post #1425 of 21760
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sylverant View Post



The Gigabyte U2442 is looking real attractive to me right now:

http://www.dynamism.com/top-notebooks/gigabyte-u2442.shtml

I bought one of these for a local school to give away to a student as a prize, and it's a sweet little UB.



http://www.vizio.com/thin-light/overview

Even makes a cool hackintosh with a little work.
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