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Convicing your significant other your Audiophilia is founded.

post #1 of 44
Thread Starter 

Hey Guys and Gals,

 

Please discus how you either tried or got your significant other to accept and/or appreciate your love for good sound and music.

 

Now I know there are a lot of "Convince my friends" threads, but this is different. With friends, you can just pass them off and go on your merry way if they don't accept it. With your significant other, not the case. If you don't convince them, then it's gone. You've got to live with them on a daily basis and they are imbedded into your life, so conflicts cannot arise. Hence me starting this thread.

 

 

 

I've got a girlfriend currently and we've been together for about a year and a half and I can't seem to fully convince her about accepting my appreciation for music.

 

I'll start off the thread describing what I've tried:

 

So first, I gave her my first headphones, the MDR-V150's, to see if she noticed a difference from her favored ibuds like I did when I first got them. Nothing.

 

So I let her play around with those and ended up getting enough skullcandy credits on all the crappy ear buds I bought from them and got her some Skullcandy Fix Buds. (she likes buds because inserts fall out. More later...) Nothing still.

 

Later on I was able to procure a deal on some Se215's NIB for $70 shipped (I was quite proud of myself, still am today) and I let her play around with those for a little bit (about a week) since I had bought some Skullcandy Aviators back when I gave her the first set. Now the Se215's are inserted headphones and I knew she didn't like them cause the "fall out of her ear" all the time. Low and behold she never tried the different tip sizes. *facepalm* Turns out the medium shure olive tips work perfectly for her so now I can get her inserted headphones (she would never spend $100 on headphones let alone $10 *double facepalm*).

 

At any rate, all she noticed was it "has a lot of boom boom" (yes you may laugh. I did too). Hey! At least we've got a live on here!

 

In the month of May 2012, I luckily won the Razordog Deals monthly headphone give away and won a pair of HD-25's. I'm sure Brian at Razor dog was pissed, because I was just about to buy a pair. Hahaha. At any rate, FREE HD-25's!!!!!!! Turns out, they are horribly uncomfortable on my head and I could care less about SQ. If I can't bare to wear those headphones, then screw the sound quality. I already has some circumaurals (Aviators), which were beautifully comfortable. So I just gave my girl friend the HD25's.

 

Often times I find I don't hear the difference in headphones from a short listen, and by the answer I got when I was talking to her about them was  that she would only use the Sony's when she could and switch around with earbud and headphones. So I figured she should listen to just listen to good headphones for about a week straight and have no contact with cheap ones. I'm not sure she actually did it, but it still didn't work....

 

So being that she still doesn't accept my audio passion, and I decided to get rid of my Aviators because they just didn't get head time because I wasn't satisfied anymore, I bought a pair of DT1350's in like new condition for $220 shipped (yeah I can find great headphones for hella cheap, don't hate) and we had to come to a consensus about my purchase. At first, she said I get NO NEW HEADPHONES FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! Not an option..... So being the great negotiator that I am (not really I'm good with a search engine that's all), we decided that I wouldn't get the headphones until late August, and she would be in possession of them.

 

So I have yet to hear about the SQ impressions on the DT1350's, but I think this might be the pivotal moment (I hope...).

 

As you can see, I've not successfully convinced my girl friend to appreciate my passion for audio, but I hope some of you have accomplished the task! So let's hear how you did it!

post #2 of 44
Quote:
we decided that I wouldn't get the headphones until late August, and she would be in possession of them.

That right there buddy, that right there is the beginning of the end for you. You must sit her down and explain "no no" there will be no possession having of any kind. If you don't act quickly upon this kiss it all goodbye even your freedom.

I don't need to disagree with any girlfriend now. I traded mine in for a PS3 console a few years back. wink.gif

Best thing I could of done for my sanity too.

Goodluck! Remember noooooooooooo possesion no no no no!!!
post #3 of 44
post #4 of 44

Been trying for years to get my wife to appreciate hi fi sound. She indulges my little hobby up to a point and CAN hear the difference between junk headphones and good ones. She simply doesn't care. She loves music but really doesn't care that much about hearing it in the highest fidelity possible. Meh, different strokes I guess.

 

(ps- She also doesn't pay attention to songs or artists. A song will come on on Pandora or at a club or a store and she'll say "I LOVE this song!" but has no idea what the song is or who the artist is.)

post #5 of 44

I don't get it.  Why is she your girlfriend?

 

Do you live together?  Does she pay the rent?  Give you an allowance? 

 

Are you buying cans with the money that was supposed to go for food or utilities?

 

The sex must be awesome.  Enjoy it one last time and cut her loose.  You'll find someone else more accepting of your hobbies and passions.

 

Life's way too short to be trying to convince anyone of anything, as people really don't change much.

 

If you decide to stick out, good luck to you.

 

Cheers.

post #6 of 44
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by AudioDwebe View Post

I don't get it.  Why is she your girlfriend?

 

Do you live together?  Does she pay the rent?  Give you an allowance? 

 

Are you buying cans with the money that was supposed to go for food or utilities?

 

The sex must be awesome.  Enjoy it one last time and cut her loose.  You'll find someone else more accepting of your hobbies and passions.

 

Life's way too short to be trying to convince anyone of anything, as people really don't change much.

 

If you decide to stick out, good luck to you.

 

Cheers.

 

Well, she was my girlfriend before I got serious with audio. I've always listened to unhealthy amount of music, but I never bought $200 sets of headphones. Also, she doesn't live with me. I'm just getting into college, so we won't "live" together for another 4 years. We've known each other since the 3rd grade, and she live on the street over from me. The reason I said "live" is because most people DO live with their significant others. Personally, I would rather drop audio than lose her, hence me trying to convince her.

 

IMO Audio can't give you a family.

 

 

 

 

Thanks for the link, I'll read some of it over!

 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by shockdoc View Post

Been trying for years to get my wife to appreciate hi fi sound. She indulges my little hobby up to a point and CAN hear the difference between junk headphones and good ones. She simply doesn't care. She loves music but really doesn't care that much about hearing it in the highest fidelity possible. Meh, different strokes I guess.

 

(ps- She also doesn't pay attention to songs or artists. A song will come on on Pandora or at a club or a store and she'll say "I LOVE this song!" but has no idea what the song is or who the artist is.)

 

 

Sounds like your quest isn't over either! Good luck.

post #7 of 44

Let me save you a lot of time:  Girls/ladies/women, for whatever reason, are generally not into audio, period.  They just don't care about it like we do.  I don't know why, but they don't.

 

Just take head-fi as an example.  There's, like, 50K male members and 4 or so women?  And one of the four is probably a guy pretending to be a girl. 

 

So thinking that you'll somehow be able to convince her to accept your hobby of audio as anything other than a total waste of time and money is naive. 

 

Many have come before you, tried, and failed.

 

Many will come after you, try, and fail.

 

Do you want to fail now or later...that is the question.

post #8 of 44
Thread Starter 

Well at least I haven't bought her headphones yet!

 

As you can see, everything she has is just a hand me down.

 

My main goal, is to get have it accepted. Luckily for me, it's not a hobby. ;)

post #9 of 44

Been with my girlfriend for 5 years and this is year 2 of us living together. I've gotten progressively 'worse' as far as dollar amounts go with my hobby. 

 

Usually when I say I want something new at this point she asks how much it is...I tell her, she usually hits a 6/10 and then realizes I work hard and am responsible enough to never endanger our well being by buying gear.

 

She used to give me big long lectures about how much money I was spending and how it could be used for more useful things like a new car...

 

On the other hand...She's slowly (see: Molasses) starting to realize there are differences between headphones and what not. She's also slowly (see: Glacier) starting to appreciate it. The biggest reaction I've seen was when I got my HD800s a few months ago. She was groovin' and movin' a lot more than my LCD 2s. She told me she liked the HD800s more. 

 

I'm really trying to get her to appreciate it rather than just hear it though. I think speakers will be more convincing, so in a few months I'll be giving that a try again.

 

EDIT: I bought her (well, gave her my fairly new) HD 598s last year. She hardly ever used them and still hasn't noticed I sold them 4 months ago.

post #10 of 44

Women are usually right. We are crazy. That being said, a lot of it boils down to the relationship between how much money you have and your hobby. Let me give  examples:

 

I know a lady who has a hobby of race horsing. She's really into taking care of her horse and it is an expensive hobby. Her husband does not mind, because they have enough money. 

 

I know a guy who owns an expensive boat and it is very expensive to maintain it. His wife is not really interested in the boat and does not go on it that much. They can afford it though so it's not a big issue for them.

 

So you see, it really boils down to money and priorities. In the real world, most people can't have expensive hobbies if they are married and planning to have a family.

 

The good news is that head fi does not have to be crazy expensive. If you only have $1000 to spend, you can get a pretty nice rig. A $300 headphone, a $400 amp and a $300 DAC or quality CD player is pretty much all you need to get some nice sounding audio.

 

You could also have something like a 4 year plan where you can set aside $1000 a year to get a good $4000 rig for example. If you tell your wife about this and explain to her how much it means to you and you are frugal in other ways, she may understand. The Hi-fi hobby is actually not really an expensive hobby because for many people, once you buy the gear, it lasts a very long time. Most people don't upgrade like crazy once they get a nice rig that costs a few thousand dollars. They pretty much stabilize with what they have, like myself for example. I have a pretty expensive amp and headphone and it's doubtful that I will buy another headphone or amp for another 10 -15 years because audio technology remains basically the same for long periods of time.

 

Lastly, if you do intend on buying some good gear, save your money in a shoe box or envelope. That's what I do. Try not to put in on the credit card and be in debt. This can stress the relationship and your life.


Edited by Spareribs - 8/2/12 at 7:36am
post #11 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by AudioDwebe View Post

Let me save you a lot of time:  Girls/ladies/women, for whatever reason, are generally not into audio, period.  They just don't care about it like we do.  I don't know why, but they don't.

Just take head-fi as an example.  There's, like, 50K male members and 4 or so women?  And one of the four is probably a guy pretending to be a girl. 

So thinking that you'll somehow be able to convince her to accept your hobby of audio as anything other than a total waste of time and money is naive. 

Many have come before you, tried, and failed.

Many will come after you, try, and fail.

Do you want to fail now or later...that is the question.

Negative, I just had to find common ground and don't get so focused that it seems you've forgotten them. Mine's heavily into goth/steampunk type designs, so I introduced her to cool looking tube amps. Now she has a tube amp at her desk and it's part of her decor. Then we looked at main speakers together and she liked the Wilson Watt/Puppies, because they're these menacing glossy black obelisks. Another thing that helped is having a Mancave, that keeps my stuff in one area and out from under foot.
post #12 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pingupenguins View Post

we had to come to a consensus about my purchase. At first, she said I get NO NEW HEADPHONES FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!

 

This is not about headphones, or gear, or music, or men/women, or audiophile conversions, or whatever other nonsense . . . this is an acceptance issue plain and simple.

 

She can accept you for who you are, and what you want out of life (presumably a family with her), and hobbies you will have along the way - or not.  But trying to change or limit you in any way is just plain controlling and immature.  And the same applies to you so don't even think about trying to stop her from being into shoes or clothing or what-not.  There should be a basic understanding that we are all different people.  So that outside of our cores (family, religion,etc.), we will all have different hobbies.  You may not be into her hobbies - or even understand her hobbies - but as long as they don't hurt anyone you should be prepared to accept them and support her pursuit of them - and obviously the same goes for her towards you.

 

A long-term partnership like marriage is about building a common life with someone, not under someone else's direction.  It's your life of course, and you should take whatever action you feel appropriate.  But consider that if it seems like a form of control, and it feels like a form of control, and it shares the same end result as a form of contol - then for all practical intents and purposes it might as well be a form of control.

post #13 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magick Man View Post


Negative, I just had to find common ground and don't get so focused that it seems you've forgotten them. Mine's heavily into goth/steampunk type designs, so I introduced her to cool looking tube amps. Now she has a tube amp at her desk and it's part of her decor. Then we looked at main speakers together and she liked the Wilson Watt/Puppies, because they're these menacing glossy black obelisks. Another thing that helped is having a Mancave, that keeps my stuff in one area and out from under foot.

So how is she accepting of your audio hobby?  From what you've stated, seems all you did was get her to accept how some audio gear looks. 

 

It's nice that you're able to have a mancave and consider the Wilsons but that seems rather irrelevant to the OP's issues. 

post #14 of 44

I don't need her to be accepting of my hobbies, just as I don't need to accept hers.  We have tolerated each other for 27 years...

post #15 of 44
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by warrenpchi View Post

 

This is not about headphones, or gear, or music, or men/women, or audiophile conversions, or whatever other nonsense . . . this is an acceptance issue plain and simple.

 

She can accept you for who you are, and what you want out of life (presumably a family with her), and hobbies you will have along the way - or not.  But trying to change or limit you in any way is just plain controlling and immature.  And the same applies to you so don't even think about trying to stop her from being into shoes or clothing or what-not.  There should be a basic understanding that we are all different people.  So that outside of our cores (family, religion,etc.), we will all have different hobbies.  You may not be into her hobbies - or even understand her hobbies - but as long as they don't hurt anyone you should be prepared to accept them and support her pursuit of them - and obviously the same goes for her towards you.

 

A long-term partnership like marriage is about building a common life with someone, not under someone else's direction.  It's your life of course, and you should take whatever action you feel appropriate.  But consider that if it seems like a form of control, and it feels like a form of control, and it shares the same end result as a form of contol - then for all practical intents and purposes it might as well be a form of control.

 

Problem is, I'm the only one making a scraping by and shes going to be in med school for the next 8-10 years or how ever long med school is. To you it's immature, but we aren't 25 year olds.

 

Another problem is she doesn't do anything else other than school. It's how her parents raised her. So I can't say,"You get clothes, shoes, etc and I get headphones". The only thing she does is school (and some sports when shes not studying).

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by AudioDwebe View Post

So how is she accepting of your audio hobby?  From what you've stated, seems all you did was get her to accept how some audio gear looks. 

 

It's nice that you're able to have a mancave and consider the Wilsons but that seems rather irrelevant to the OP's issues. 

 

 

Haha, this thread isn't about me, it's about anyone and seeing how they approach this too common problem.

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