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Beats Are Magical! And Other Nearly-Criminal Marketing Schemes

post #1 of 433
Thread Starter 

DSICLAIMER: I'm not just a Beats-basher. I actually own and enjoy the Solo HD (though only for under 100 dollars). I just found these funny and sad.

 

I found these gems on the Beats main website. It's quite obvious that the appeal here isn't to anyone who knows a thing about audio, and the population of outright lies here is simply astounding. Sure you can find exaggerations on other manufacturers' sites, but these are just outright untruths.

 

 

1000

That's right, kids. Beats magically turn your MP3 files into CD-quality WAV.

 

 

1000

Not only do our docks offer flat-response sound, they also offer ultra-bassy club sound and you don't even have to change any settings. But if you think it, want it, dream it, then it's real (anyone get that reference?). Oh, also, they're the only loud speakers in existence, so you kind of have to buy from us.

 

 

1000

Remember, we were pioneers in the exercise headphone market that we entered years into the progression of.

 

 

1000

Yep, that's right. Forget Klipsch, Etymotic, Ultimate Ears, Shure, Westone, and all those other IEM manufacturers that outclass us. In fact, forget the term IEM. It'll only lead you to research about lower-priced alternatives to us.

 

 

1000

That's right, our products have no midbass hump and are not missing sub-bass or mids. Honestly, they're completely flat, just like in the studio.

 

 

1000

What's EMI? Sony, never heard of them. Isn't Warner just associated with movies? Universal runs a theme park, but I'm pretty sure they're not in the music biz. If they are, they definitely use Beats and not an ATH-M50 or something. In fact, I'm almost entirely sure that Sony uses Beats in their studios. Why in the world would they use a Sony headphone?


Edited by ssrock64 - 7/26/12 at 1:56pm
post #2 of 433
Thanks for the laugh xD
Just reading the crap on the box of the studios is enough for me.
post #3 of 433

Someone should print this into fliers and just post them everywhere on the streets.

post #4 of 433
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by GL1TCH3D View Post

Thanks for the laugh xD
Just reading the crap on the box of the studios is enough for me.


I nearly got sick when I got my Solos about a year ago. The box was morbidly hilarious.

post #5 of 433
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerg View Post

Someone should print this into fliers and just post them everywhere on the streets.

Agreed... Though they'll probably send someone to burn all the fliers. With all the money they're making off these enormous rip offs, they could afford to pay people to burn the fliers.
post #6 of 433

This crap made my IQ drop slightly.

post #7 of 433
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by GL1TCH3D View Post


Agreed... Though they'll probably send someone to burn all the fliers. With all the money they're making off these enormous rip offs, they could afford to pay people to burn the fliers.


I left three copies of a seven-page informational packet about why Beats were not as great as they seemed in the local Best Buy right next to the testing stand once, and one of the sales people thanked me. I think I found a hidden Head-Fi'er there.

post #8 of 433
Quote:
Originally Posted by ssrock64 View Post


I left three copies of a seven-page informational packet about why Beats were not as great as they seemed in the local Best Buy right next to the testing stand once, and one of the sales people thanked me. I think I found a hidden Head-Fi'er there.

Where can I get this informational packet?
I have no shame in distributing to passerbys.
post #9 of 433
Quote:
Originally Posted by Supertoaster View Post

This crap made my IQ drop slightly.


+1

post #10 of 433
Quote:
Originally Posted by ssrock64 View Post


 

1000

 

 

 

That sounds familiar, i remember hearing this in some beats, best buy ad thingy on Youtube and they talked about compressed audio and "how bad it sounds" that's quite sad really trying to confuse people with audio bitrates and how beats will magically make your audio uncompressed. Not to mention that you certainly wouldn't be able to tell the difference between 320kbps mp3 and flac with beats...

post #11 of 433
Quote:
Originally Posted by ytisawfulnow View Post

 

That sounds familiar, i remember hearing this in some beats, best buy ad thingy on Youtube and they talked about compressed audio and "how bad it sounds" that's quite sad really trying to confuse people with audio bitrates and how beats will magically make your audio uncompressed. Not to mention that you certainly wouldn't be able to tell the difference between 320kbps mp3 and flac with beats...

I can't tell the difference between them with HE-500 and I actually appreciate hi-fi headphones!  I CAN tell the difference between 128kbps and 320 kbps though.

post #12 of 433

Just went on my facebook! Thank you this is awesome

post #13 of 433

omg I thought you were trolling when I first saw this then I checked the site and it's all true.  The lies they're telling should be illegal. D:

 

grammatical errors too? D:

 

"Unlike other sound companies who's technical approach lacks emotion, our Beats Audio sound is handcrafted by Dr. Dre himself and some of the world's best producers."


Edited by DaBomb77766 - 7/21/12 at 7:56pm
post #14 of 433

The price should be too, but... atleast we know better.

 

i found the video btw.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrJey7dWvJc

 

Skip to about 3:00

post #15 of 433

Isn't this just a BASH Thread full of Bashers.

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