Thanks for the responses and opinions it puts it back into perspective . I think I had convinced myself that the difference was going to be a noticeable improvement even though my own experiences and logic have always had a hard time noticing differences in audio gear that had been built well. The HDVD800 was the biggest change I've heard going from one solid state amp to another and it turns out there is a logical reason for that , it's output impedance . Again my experience of this 'big' change is still subtle in the grand scheme of things. What's worse is all my on reading and knowledge built up in this hobby has got me thinking that no way should the balanced output sound 'better' and probably not different (maybe slightly different ) based on gain alone. BUT as palmfish has pointed out the biggest change is probably going to be a perceived change, yet my order for the balanced cable remains in place! I'm going against my better judgment which is bordering on slight madness but I suppose that's the way this audio hobby goes! I am at least willing to admit that I have a problem.
My name is James and I'm an audioholic
Your "problem" is easy. You just need to go listen to things. Make sure that you can spend at least 20-30 minutes listening because I've found that it usually takes me that long to be able to relax and feel unpressured enough to focus on what I'm listening to. Anyway, if you don't hear a difference then you just have to decide if the color of the box is important otherwise, you just need to decide (assuming that the difference is desireable) whether or not the price to acquire that difference is justifiable to you.
You won't have a real problem until you've put a second mortgage on the house to finance multiple systems (audio-hoarding)