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An audiophile and petrolhead's journal: Buckle up! - Page 2

post #16 of 9498
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by rroseperry View Post

Growing up poor does leave its marks on a person. Go with the hobby angle. Hobbies don't have to make sense, don't need explanation. She must have some stuff that's not 100% functional, though to be honest, the equivalency argument just about never works.

No, it doesn't work and her family's poverty really has marked her, I think in many ways she's still trying to adapt.

Anyway, I said "**** it" and just ordered a pair of HE-6s, and I'll call around and grab some T1s tomorrow. It's my hobby, my "fun" budget, and she's going to have to learn to accept it.
Edited by Magick Man - 3/8/12 at 11:34pm
post #17 of 9498

Women don't like anything that could possibly get in the way of her being no 1.  When I first got married my wife didn't want me doing anything (working out, audio stuff, motorcycles,etc), it just didn't make sense.  Hobbies are an outlet for reducing the daily stresses of life, and bring some happiness to the person.  Most women I have ever met, don't really have any hobbies, so maybe that's why they just don't get it.  Also, in my experience women don't understand that boys need their toys.


Just thinking of ordering the HE-6 and/or T1 I'm sure you can already run the argument scenario through your head, it takes the fun out of it lol.  I think to the outside person the idea of spending $500 or $1000 on "headphones" is appauling.  Good luck, it doesn't seem like there is any good solution to this problem.

Edited by KimChee - 3/9/12 at 11:20am
post #18 of 9498
Thread Starter 
I've not mentioned it to her yet, and I've cooled off a little. I'm going to go ahead and go through with the HE-6s and then I'll wait until next month to get a set of T1s. After that I'll hold off on any expensive head-fi purchases for a while. Those are the two I want the most. She and I are just going to have to sit down and have (another) long talk about this sort of thing.
Edited by Magick Man - 3/9/12 at 12:15pm
post #19 of 9498
Originally Posted by KimChee View Post

.  Most women I have ever met, don't really have any hobbies, so maybe that's why they just don't get it.  Also, in my experience women don't understand that boys need their toys.

You know that's total nonsense, right?
post #20 of 9498

dont tell her you need it for your music 'listening'

just tell her you are, also, a 'collector' 


if you are just getting to listen/enjoy the music, i think she might see it as waste. 

you can always enjoy with what you have already.

but if you are a collector, that loves the music, its different story.


start buying some rare ones; hp1000, L3000, r10, qualia, and some orpheus :P

post #21 of 9498
Isn't it normal for people to freak out when someone spends a thou on headphones?
post #22 of 9498
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by Draygonn View Post

Isn't it normal for people to freak out when someone spends a thou on headphones?

I believe that's relative. Besides, it's from MY hobby savings.
post #23 of 9498

Could be your wife is pissed off about something, she just does not know what and your audio hobby is what she has picked to take it out on?

She does know what she is really pissed off about, but she will never tell you what it is?

I had one female who took fives years to tell me what i was doing that pissed her off.

It was something I never would have guessed.

post #24 of 9498

DBT: Your wife's naggy voice vs Diana Krall on the loudspeakers.



Post us a pic of your audio room and basement. We'll decide if you are a hoarder. 


You have a large house, and you keep all your audio gear away in only two areas? She is being unreasonable, or something else is bothering her. 

post #25 of 9498

Hey OP.  I'm married but with kids.  I personally understand where you're coming from.  When I first got into this hi-fi thing four years ago, I kept everything under rug so to speak as my purchases was sourced from my own personal funds.  Prior to the hi-fi thing, I owned and rode crotch-rockets.  Before I got married nearly a decade ago, I swore to myself that no woman would come between me and my bikes.  Well, things change and I sold off my bikes, Vanson leathers, Aria helmets, and tools.  I do miss being on one here and there, especially when it's a nice day out, but here in the Seattle, there are too many morons behind wheels.  After too many close calls, I let it all go.  I look forward to Cayman convertible in the next few years, which I actually got the wife's blessing in exchange for giving up my bikes. 


Anyhow, personal health is filled with hobbies that gives up enjoyment.  Some are much more expensive then others.  My first serious can was the Sennheiser HD600 and I did get some verbal crap from my wife.  However, my wife has been classically trained and has a good ear, so a few auditions with my setup, she concurred that it sounded amazing.  Then, came all those boxed packages like a tidal wave, and of course more verbal crap. 


There were a few days where I wanted to tell my wife to shut the "F*&# up!, and leave my hobby alone - it's my F*&($% money".  About two years ago, I had a bad day at work, got little sleep, and another big package came with my brand new RS1.  That blew my wife's top and so, we had a short discussion of me reiterating that fact that I gave up my bikes; she has no right to question my personal purchases from my own bank account; I don't have expensive habit like gambling; and my little hi-fi hobby brings me great enjoyment and makes me a better person overall. 


We all sacrifice personal things for better or worse to keep the peace when there is another important person involved in our life.  If you want to keep a balance of your sanity and keep what little personal happiness we truly have, we need to keep a few hobbies.  Otherwise, you'll grow a hard wall of resentment and there's only one outcome when that happens.  Smart that you got a prenup. 


So, my advice to have a serious talk with your wife and let her know what hi-fi personally means to you and how it has a positive impact to your mental and emotional health - even if means that you have to tell her of the consequences of being deprived of your passionate hi-fi hobby.  My wife knows for a fact that I would turn into a disgruntled, mean SOB if I didn't have my personal enjoyments of music and horror flicks now and then.


If you know her favorite songs, force her to listen to your headphone and setup to gain some appreciation with hopes that it can move you emotionally.  If the whole price thing is determining factor, let her know that niche hobbies like hi-fi is a balanced investment - meaning the purchase price of your T1 is mostly preserved if you decide to sell it.  So, you don't loose much if you need to get rid of few things to purchase meaningful presents or saving up for vacations.


Good luck, man.

post #26 of 9498

Start drinking heavily...and then ask her which one she wants...headphones or the drunkard? Sadly the headphones sound even better when you,ve had a few...lol

post #27 of 9498
Thread Starter 
Meh, I don't drink. Much. wink.gif

We talked about it over dinner. I showed her what I have saved in my hobby account, explained that I need a good hobby or I'll go nuts, and also explained that this type of gear doesn't become worthless over night and holds its value well. She said she still believes that it's stupid, but if I want to spend my money that way, so be it. Not exactly a ringing endorsement, but it could be worse.

Screw it, I'm done worrying about this. It's not like I'm blowing all of our money at the track or bumping it up my nose. She has to learn to relax, because I'm done tip-toeing around her over this.
post #28 of 9498

Congrats and good call!

post #29 of 9498

It's possible that growing up poor has caused your wife to become paranoid about money.  You seem to be a fiscally responsible guy but spending large amounts of money on anything other than food, clothing or shelter might be freaking her out.  Having different attitudes toward money can cause significant problems in a relationship.


Suggest seeing a marriage counselor that specializes in financial issues.  Her reaction will tell you what you need to know.

post #30 of 9498

Ditch her. My wife tolerates speakers that are at least three times her size (each channel), amps that collectively out weigh her, tolerates my Italian cars (even on the rare occasion where we are stranded), travels to historic races with me, brings me back all sorts of gear from Japan, and is 15 years younger than me to boot.  Get your priorities straight, man -- before it is too late. biggrin.gif

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