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post #61 of 108

Hey Hyogen!

 

I've got several things to say :P
First and foremost, I want to congratulate you on your beautiful story, the brilliantly written and constructed OP, pictures, and the nice youtube song (which i listened to)

 


I got some questions/thoughts though...
You proposed after only 6months?

I've heard of many people doing that, but never understood it

 

I've been with my girlfriend for 2.5years and love her to bits - and would love to marry her, but the timing at my age (20 & hers at 22) isn't right atm - maybe its a cultural thing - possibly - but I also find that I still learn things about her, even till this day :)

 


For your "no luck with girls" bro - having 2 relationship ( i think it was) for over 4 years each is not "unlucky"

I grew up and NEVER had a proper relationship till the one I have now.

 

As a kid i preferred (quite sadly) games over girls.

I never saw the need to be with a girl or hook up with one.

As I grew older (in my college years) i felt shy and was just like you: I couldn't look at a girl - I still can't in fact - but i think mentally that's due to me being in a relationship rather than anything else.

 

You would be surprised seeing me in a club - I had NEVER danced before, NEVER taken any lessons - but always had that "spirit" of dancing. I ended up dancing my heart out in clubs - around girls, and I was shocked (and still am) that girls approach me in clubs due to my dancing. (started clubbing only 2 yrs ago - 1st yr of university)

FYI: I have NEVER walked up to a girl or EVER done the "first move". Not bragging just sayin' how shy i am.

I go to clubs to enjoy the DJ (more often than not sucks) and the music/atmosphere

 


 

Your wife looks beautiful - and both of you look great together, but just a thing about your headphone/spending addiction:
Try not to blow it by spending too much.

I saw you bought and sold - and I have to say i salute you for buying those items at that price - truly impressive.

But try not to blow a lot of money or else your wife might start getting annoyed (inside of her) and never tell you.

 

Instead of spending $200 on headphones, try treating her out to a nice theatre or a trip. Honestly, that little trip, as small as it is - goes a long way.

I'm no guru, and I'm sure you know better - but still worth mentioning :)

 

-Chris


Edited by Totally Dubbed - 3/14/12 at 3:53am
post #62 of 108
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Totally Dubbed View Post

Hey Hyogen!

 

I've got several things to say :P
First and foremost, I want to congratulate you on your beautiful story, the brilliantly written and constructed OP, pictures, and the nice youtube song (which i listened to)

 


I got some questions/thoughts though...
You proposed after only 6months?

I've heard of many people doing that, but never understood it

 

I've been with my girlfriend for 2.5years and love her to bits - and would love to marry her, but the timing at my age (20 & hers at 22) isn't right atm - maybe its a cultural thing - possibly - but I also find that I still learn things about her, even till this day :)

 


For your "no luck with girls" bro - having 2 relationship ( i think it was) for over 4 years each is not "unlucky"

I grew up and NEVER had a proper relationship till the one I have now.

 

As a kid i preferred (quite sadly) games over girls.

I never saw the need to be with a girl or hook up with one.

As I grew older (in my college years) i felt shy and was just like you: I couldn't look at a girl - I still can't in fact - but i think mentally that's due to me being in a relationship rather than anything else.

 

You would be surprised seeing me in a club - I had NEVER danced before, NEVER taken any lessons - but always had that "spirit" of dancing. I ended up dancing my heart out in clubs - around girls, and I was shocked (and still am) that girls approach me in clubs due to my dancing. (started clubbing only 2 yrs ago - 1st yr of university)

FYI: I have NEVER walked up to a girl or EVER done the "first move". Not bragging just sayin' how shy i am.

I go to clubs to enjoy the DJ (more often than not sucks) and the music/atmosphere

 


 

Your wife looks beautiful - and both of you look great together, but just a thing about your headphone/spending addiction:
Try not to blow it by spending too much.

I saw you bought and sold - and I have to say i salute you for buying those items at that price - truly impressive.

But try not to blow a lot of money or else your wife might start getting annoyed (inside of her) and never tell you.

 

Instead of spending $200 on headphones, try treating her out to a nice theatre or a trip. Honestly, that little trip, as small as it is - goes a long way.

I'm no guru, and I'm sure you know better - but still worth mentioning :)

 

-Chris


Hey Chris, I'll take the time to respond with more thought put into it.  I have a midterm 3.5 hours......!  But I wanted to respond to you at least a couple parts before I forget my train of thought.

 

I'm humbled by your advice about spending money on her rather than myself and also by other observations of other people.  I am the more expressive type (heart-on-sleeve)--in fact, I feel it's a weakness and not just a strength of mine.  However, I have been humbled by the more quiet romantic who may not get the "recognition" or the effect my story has had--but nevertheless, they are quite possibly even more hopeless romantics.  Ones which the girl IS truly even luckier to be with.  On the surface, I think I make my wives friend's jealous for finding someone so romantic that'll write and sing songs--draw pictures, etc for her.  However, I know I have so much more to learn and hope that I could be so sacrificial that I would LIVE for her/not just die/say I'd die for her (which is far easier in comparison).  A simple example is when I was selling one of those phones to a particularly hesitant buyer of one of my phones--I had to REALLY sell it to him, even though I had described it meticulously on craigslist.....Everytime his wife called, he answered with a patient "darling?"  I was so impressed by that and asked him if he only did that because he *had* to.  He said definitely not.  He was an older gentleman and that impressed me even more.  

 

I have sacrificed most of my wants for her sake the time we've been dating/married.  It was just a nice field day for me, since I was sorta unleashed to get whatever I wanted with the budget I had--hehehe. 

 

Oh yeah--don't let the 2 other relationships I've had fool you--those would be another long story, which there probably isn't any point in going into anymore.  Let's just say I'm sure I haven't even fully realized just how lucky I am.  -_-

 

I do truly appreciate your advice and I duly note it.  I'll respond to your other questions when I get a chance :D 


Edited by hyogen - 3/14/12 at 6:06am
post #63 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by hyogen View Post

I do truly appreciate your advice and I duly note it.  I'll respond to your other questions when I get a chance :D 

 

Hey dude :)
 

Well one thing my Mum taught me:

Always put yourself first, or you will be the loser.

 

I always do the opposite. I'm too kind to people, too honest, too polite.

I don't want my children to be like me - I want them to be a little more arrogant and "head-up high"

It's bad of me saying it...but it's just the harsh reality nowadays.

 

I too call my girlfriend: Hunny mou and Morro mou -> she is greek you see :)
Mou being Me

And Morro being baby

(i'm not greek just learning now lol)

 

That said - being kind and all-out-giving to your very close ones, ie. your parents and your wife/girlfriend is good - just not to others like I do...all the time :/


Edited by Totally Dubbed - 3/14/12 at 6:15am
post #64 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by hyogen View Post

Just a little introduction.  I'm sorry if I'm a little too heart-on-sleeve for any of you.  I got married to the girl of my dreams less than a year ago, who walked into the cell phone store I was working at...  More detailed version here:  

 

 

 

Your story is a fairy tale.

 

I think most people on head-fi are more like me..

 

Bad looking, without any prospect of getting a hot girl-friend or wife, therefore trying to fill the emptiness in their lives with the quest towards audio nirvana (duh!!) biggrin.gif

post #65 of 108

Define "hot"

For sure the OP's wife is hot/good looking.

 

But its not the outer shell that matters, its the inner beauty that does.

I got lucky and found my girlfriend - I feel like I'm the lucky one -> she is better looking than me

And she is very kind hearted!

Anyway my point here is:
Look for someone with the heart rather than the looks.

The amount of people i've seen get in a relationship because they had that "1 night-stand" together, then got together on that basis...is countless.

ie. Its not looks that count its the personality. 

post #66 of 108
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by wrathzombie View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by hyogen View Post

Just a little introduction.  I'm sorry if I'm a little too heart-on-sleeve for any of you.  I got married to the girl of my dreams less than a year ago, who walked into the cell phone store I was working at...  More detailed version here:  

 

 

 

Your story is a fairy tale.

 

I think most people on head-fi are more like me..

 

Bad looking, without any prospect of getting a hot girl-friend or wife, therefore trying to fill the emptiness in their lives with the quest towards audio nirvana (duh!!) biggrin.gif

 

Thank you.  Don't stop believin'--hehe.  Most everyone's trying to fill a void...  I've mentioned it earlier--but I honestly think there's only one real way of filling that ___ shaped-void =)  My story goes even deeper than it seems.  I grew up pretty much only motivated to be christian because of fear of hell/wanting to go to heaven--that's where we get so many hypocrites / fake people out there -_-  I  came to a place in my life where I felt like I couldn't deny the existence of that higher being---BUT finally decided that I didn't want anything to do with it.  Didn't want the "reward".  Just wanted to live my life as a good and honest person for the first time in my life without the motivation being fear/reward.  I believe that's why there's that parable about cold and hot water--and luke-warm water is good for nothing.  There really isn't much use to God for the typical christian who oftentimes is "worse" of a person than someone who isn't motivated by the fear of hell--and yet they think they're somehow better off than others..   I'll step off that soapbox for now :P   OK, hopefully for good.  don't wanna shove religion down anyone's throat--but let me know if you want to talk to me about it.  I believe MOST of what you've heard about christianity or may even believe in--doesn't make any sense/is not biblical.... that there is truth and it makes sense....    MOVING ON..... haha.  Like I said, heart-on-sleeve is both a strength and weakness for me.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Totally Dubbed View Post

Define "hot"

For sure the OP's wife is hot/good looking.

 

But its not the outer shell that matters, its the inner beauty that does.

I got lucky and found my girlfriend - I feel like I'm the lucky one -> she is better looking than me

And she is very kind hearted!

Anyway my point here is:
Look for someone with the heart rather than the looks.

The amount of people i've seen get in a relationship because they had that "1 night-stand" together, then got together on that basis...is countless.

ie. Its not looks that count its the personality. 


I absolutely agree.  Outer beauty will fade like everything else in this world.  So when are you gonna pop the question?  :D

 


Edited by hyogen - 3/14/12 at 7:23am
post #67 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by hyogen View Post

I absolutely agree.  Outer beauty will fade like everything else in this world.  So when are you gonna pop the question?  :D

 

 

When the time will be right...

Unfortunately our future doesn't look bright.

We both love each other, we want to spend our lives together - but this is where it gets complicated:

 

She will be going back to Cyprus next year, I'm currently in france for placement.

 

Next year she will be doing her "law training" the LPC in Cyprus, and I'll be returning to the UK
If we survive through this year and next year - that would be 2 years apart (of course we see each other, but not regularly enough (1ce ever 1-months)

 

After that...we will see -I'll most likely do another year in the UK with a Masters, and her...well it all depends on her LPC year - if she finds a job, etc
We want to be together, but 3rd party factors prevent us being together.

 

My course being one, and her law degree/training/family being in cyprus another.

 

I would do anything to be with her - even go and live in another country - however I feel that she isn't quite the same as me in that respect.

in some ways she doesn't realise what she would be "losing" by staying in Cyprus and me not being really wanting to go there.

 

Back to my original thing:
You first, others later.

Much harder when that special person is that "other"

post #68 of 108

I am a plain old Cynic, please ignore my comments..

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by hyogen View Post

 

Thank you.  Don't stop believin'--hehe.  Most everyone's trying to fill a void...  I've mentioned it earlier--but I honestly think there's only one real way of filling that ___ shaped-void =)  My story goes even deeper than it seems.  I grew up pretty much only motivated to be christian because of fear of hell/wanting to go to heaven--that's where we get so many hypocrites / fake people out there -_-  I  came to a place in my life where I felt like I couldn't deny the existence of that higher being---BUT finally decided that I didn't want anything to do with it.  Didn't want the "reward".  Just wanted to live my life as a good and honest person for the first time in my life without the motivation being fear/reward.  I believe that's why there's that parable about cold and hot water--and luke-warm water is good for nothing.  There really isn't much use to God for the typical christian who oftentimes is "worse" of a person than someone who isn't motivated by the fear of hell--and yet they think they're somehow better off than others..   I'll step off that soapbox for now :P   OK, hopefully for good.  don't wanna shove religion down anyone's throat--but let me know if you want to talk to me about it.  I believe MOST of what you've heard about christianity or may even believe in--doesn't make any sense/is not biblical.... that there is truth and it makes sense....    MOVING ON..... haha.  Like I said, heart-on-sleeve is both a strength and weakness for me.
 


I absolutely agree.  Outer beauty will fade like everything else in this world.  So when are you gonna pop the question?  :D

 



 


Edited by wrathzombie - 3/14/12 at 8:38am
post #69 of 108
Thread Starter 
I didnt see the comments. You can be brutal wit me. ...live in harsh reality than ignorant bliss. Hehe
post #70 of 108

I used to be very cynical about life in general. Don't get me wrong, I still get a little that way when I have a bad day, but  it's a dead end. Not that being super optimistic and having unreal expectations is the way to go either. I love reading your guys' stories.

 

Totally Dubbed: my relationship status is more or less like you before you met your girl, only minus the dancing. biggrin.gif I wouldn't be caught dead in a club, haha. Really loud noises and environments make me physically uncomfortable. I listen to music at low volumes as well, which is ironic because I'm the drummer of a rock band.

post #71 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by manveru View Post

I used to be very cynical about life in general. Don't get me wrong, I still get a little that way when I have a bad day, but  it's a dead end. Not that being super optimistic and having unreal expectations is the way to go either. I love reading your guys' stories.

 

Totally Dubbed: my relationship status is more or less like you before you met your girl, only minus the dancing. biggrin.gif I wouldn't be caught dead in a club, haha. Really loud noises and environments make me physically uncomfortable. I listen to music at low volumes as well, which is ironic because I'm the drummer of a rock band.


haha :P
FYI:
Best chat up line in the history:
None - just start dancing :D

 

 

post #72 of 108

I'm even more shy than all of you. I'm outwardly outgoing...but I wouldn't approach or really get close to people ever. 

post #73 of 108

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by bowei006 View Post

I'm even more shy than all of you. I'm outwardly outgoing...but I wouldn't approach or really get close to people ever. 


Neither would I, but anyway it's not a contest. redface.gif I have one friend with whom I can be outgoing, but the only things we ever talk about are politics (not that they actually exist) and philosophy, so I'm not sure I'd consider him close or not.

post #74 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by manveru View Post

 


Neither would I, but anyway it's not a contest. redface.gif I have one friend with whom I can be outgoing, but the only things we ever talk about are politics (not that they actually exist) and philosophy, so I'm not sure I'd consider him close or not.


i know what you mean, those friends you feel you have a lot in common with or just have a bond but you wouldn't say close with.. yeah i the normal amount of those and many regular friends...but not "close" with any

 

post #75 of 108

There is hope for everyone......

 

...*runs away sobbing* redface.gif

 

I need to learn the Piano ASAP

 

I like those Atheistic leanings you've got going there my friend! Very true! There is only truth in this world, don't pay attention to these people who have to convince themselves of farfetched tales and wishful thinking.

 

P.s. what is it with this "signs" crap? Now blood type? Really? None of that means anything, it's your MBTI personlity type that tells the story.

 

I was just reminded of what happened yesterday, i saw this really pretty girl as a cashier, my type of girl....i was so nervous that it was just awkward silence as i paid for my item blink.gif Then you know when they hand you the change? Sometimes your hands touch? I usually try to avoid it, but this time i was hoping i would at least get that, but nope confused_face_2.gif *runs away*


Edited by Astrozombie - 3/15/12 at 4:47pm
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