We make plans throughout our entire lives. Good ones, bad ones, and ones that never materialize. Most are just dreams. I don’t make plans often, but when I do, I try to see them through. But man, let me tell you. Every single time I hear people make plans, I can just think in my head that they will never materialize. That they are just teenagers and it will obviously just fall apart. I admit that I have also had my own failed plans. Like that one time I planned for everyone to go to the movies, and it rained. Bummer. I realized that I actually had more anxiety in making a plan and hoping that it goes through than with the actual execution of it.
Well one night many years ago, we were under the lamp light with our bikes. I was talking to him about future plans, where we may be, and what we will do when we get older. We came up with a stupid plan about how we would all sell our families houses and bundle up into a group house out in some lucrative and awesome country. Gosh we were stupid.
But what I really planned to happen, would be the usual. We would finish high school, and I wouldn’t see him for a few years. He would probably go to some college and get a job. I would be halfway across the country studying my ass off for some goal that I am not even sure of. And on his 21st birthday, I’d be back home somehow. I’d sit down with him and pour him his first legal drink. He’s gotten older and had bulked up a bit. He still had his light freckles and famous smile. And gosh the chicken hair was still there. We were both grown up, but still ourselves. And then we’d order something to eat. I was a few months older than him and hopefully had better tolerance for the stuff. I would make fun of him not being able to hold his drink. And he would make the usual racist joke at me and I to him afterwards. We’d talk about what we did back in the good ole days. And at the end of the night the fireworks would go up around the entire area. The sky would fill with explosions to celebrate the nation’s founding. I’d wish him happy birthday.
But of course, this was just a plan...just another dream. One that would never come. It was just a dream where somehow I had gotten home on that day, where I somehow invited just him out for a whole night, and where the events went down like a perfect bro story of finding our inner selves. It was just a story is all. When we were kids, we believed that stories were real. That dragons existed, and princes would always rescue the princess. I’ll be an engineer starting today. Looking at life’s cold hard facts. But for today only, I’d like to dream a bit. I’d like to dream about my plans that actually work, and where none of the little holes in the story matter. And at the end of the dream, I’ll say to him what I couldn’t before. I’ll tell him ‘goodbye’.