Mine is Paradise Circus Gui Boratto Remix by Massive attack, liked it so much I dropped $70 and bought the special edition LP, I still haven't gotten around to transcribing it.....
No you pretend to listen to it, secretly turning the volume down when you put the headphones on, then try to get her number, Now hot chicks, they can go screw themselves, but cuties are to be persued!
Win the lottery, write a book, or [fill-in-the-blank-one-time-windfall]; set up a complex series of harnesses to make sure you can't ever move again, then hire somebody to do everything in the world for you. (Come to think of it, you might need to do the last two in the reverse order!).
In order to afford the inevitable instances where that person just lifts a chunk of your bux and takes off (since you can't do anything about it), that's why I suggest making lots of change up front. But as long as they change the music whenever you like and attend to your bodily needs, you need never leave that spot.
Or you can get speakers with a wider sweet spot.