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This joke is totally awesome. - Page 37

post #541 of 625

Little known facts:

 

In Iran, attempted suicide is a capital offense.

post #542 of 625

First car in high school date, parking with a beautiful blond -

 

following 30 minutes of kissy face -

 

 

" Come-on babe, please ..."

 

" NO "

 

" Come-on, get in the back seat "

 

" Aww, no "

 

" But why, why not, why don'tcha' wanna get in the back seat ? "

 

" 'Cause "

 

" Why not ? "

 

 

 

" 'Cause, I wanna, be with you " 

 

post #543 of 625
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hi-Finthen View Post

First car in high school date, parking with a beautiful blond -

 

following 30 minutes of kissy face -

 

 

" Come-on babe, please ..."

 

" NO "

 

" Come-on, get in the back seat "

 

" Aww, no "

 

" But why, why not, why don'tcha' wanna get in the back seat ? "

 

" 'Cause "

 

" Why not ? "

 

 

 

" 'Cause, I wanna, be with you " 

 

I don't get it.

post #544 of 625
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tangster View Post

I don't get it.

Is your hair blond

post #545 of 625
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tangster View Post

I don't get it.

The joke wasn't worded well, but basically she's a blond and she thinks that he's asking her, and her only, to get into the backseat.

 

"You want to get in the backseat?"

"No, I want to be (up here) with you."

 

My first reading was also confusing because I took, "I want to be with you," as "I want to be (in a relationship) with you."

post #546 of 625
Quote:
Originally Posted by SpiderNhan View Post

The joke wasn't worded well, but basically she's a blond and she thinks that he's asking her, and her only, to get into the backseat.

 

"You want to get in the backseat?"

"No, I want to be (up here) with you."

 

My first reading was also confusing because I took, "I want to be with you," as "I want to be (in a relationship) with you."

HaHa, yeah thanx, the type was awkward , and I hate having to explain jokes , especially to blonds ;')

 

Nonscript ~

post #547 of 625
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by wink View Post

Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice?

The label said concentrate.

Ha! Nice.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Omphalopsychite View Post

Little known facts:

 

In Iran, attempted suicide is a capital offense.

I think I've heard this before. People are crazy.

post #548 of 625

Went to visit a friend in a really small town in outback Australia. We went to the town's only pub and while we were sitting there every once in a while somebody would call out a number like '32' and every one would laugh. This went on for a while so I asked my friend what was going on. He said everyone had been coming here so long that they all knew all the jokes. So they just numbered them and when someone wanted to tell a joke he just called out the number.

 

So I thought I'd give it a try and called out '97'.  Everybody in the pub roared with laughter for a long time. I thought 'that must have been a good one' and asked my friend what it was. He said 'they never heard that one before'.

post #549 of 625

So a Catholic Priest and a Baptist Minister, in a show of good faith, invite a Rabbi out to an afternoon of fishing from the Priest's  boat .

 

Returning to the shoreline the Priest kneels , prays and gives thanks for the bountiful haul, and steps out of the boat walking

 

upon the water right to the beach, to the amazement of the Rabbi as he listens then to the Ministers knee bent prayer of thanks , 

 

who then rises and likewise steps from the boat walking upon the water to shore joining the Priest on the beach .

 

So, the Rabbi, not to be one upped , proceeds to pray mightily to the heavens , making a very long prayer of it , just to be sure his supplication

 

is indeed heard , proceeds to step from the boat to also likewise walk upon the waters ... And , sinks like a stone , thrashing a bouts ,

 

to the delight and belly laughter of the wise rascals witnessing from shore .

 

 

So, the Catholic Priest then says to the Baptist Minister , "Do you believe you should have told him , where the rocks are ?"

 

 

No, let him figure it out like I had to , when I first went fishing with you ;')

post #550 of 625

Wife: Darling, don't you think that after 6 years of being married I should get a new dress?

Husband: Why, what's wrong with the one you've got?

Wife: I'm getting tired of people throwing rice and confetti at me....!!!

post #551 of 625

Guy goes into a bar with a suitcase.

 

He orders a drink.  Then he opens up the suitcase, pulls out a tiny piano and a little man, a foot tall, jumps out of the suitcase and starts playing the tiny piano.

 

A guy sitting on the next stool says, "that's amazing!  How did you come across the little piano player?"

 

The man with the suitcase responds, "well, I was walking along the beach, came across a lantern, rubbed it, and a genie came out who granted me one wish."

 

The guy on the stool says, "you used your wish to get a little guy who plays the piano?"

 

The man with the suitcase responds, " Well , the genie misunderstood me.  He thought I asked for a 12 inch pianist."

post #552 of 625
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Omphalopsychite View Post

Went to visit a friend in a really small town in outback Australia. We went to the town's only pub and while we were sitting there every once in a while somebody would call out a number like '32' and every one would laugh. This went on for a while so I asked my friend what was going on. He said everyone had been coming here so long that they all knew all the jokes. So they just numbered them and when someone wanted to tell a joke he just called out the number.

So I thought I'd give it a try and called out '97'.  Everybody in the pub roared with laughter for a long time. I thought 'that must have been a good one' and asked my friend what it was. He said 'they never heard that one before'.
I laughed out loud at this smily_headphones1.gif
post #553 of 625

98

 

lol

post #554 of 625

99,

 

100

 

101

 

And then there's the one

 

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

Do not open for 2 days. (Click to show)

Ask me in two days time......

post #555 of 625
Quote:
Originally Posted by wink View Post

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

  

 

Worth repeating, if only for the readers who are blonds ;'0

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