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This joke is totally awesome. - Page 33

post #481 of 654
11/30/11 at 3:28pm

 


 
 

 

Q: How many gypsies does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None, but you lose a lot of light bulbs.

Note: None because gypsies don't have mains electricity, and the losing is a play on the larcenous reputation of Gypsies.

You give a Gypsy a light bulb and ask him to change the hallway lamp, pretty soon you have one less light bulb and the hallway lamp is still out.)

Q: How many Helmsley employees does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: 100: 99 to try, and one to fire them all.

Note: Leona Helmsley is the owner of a New York hotel who was a terrible person to work for.

She fired employees at little or no provocation. She was so nasty to her employees that she was known as the "Queen of Mean".)

Q: How many pot growers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they use fluorescent bulbs instead.

Note: Fluorescent light is closer to natural sunlight than an incandescent bulb,

so anyone using artificial light (which pot growers might do to keep their crops covered and safe from flying, prying eyes)

to grow stuff would probably use fluorescent light rather than incandescent

 

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post #482 of 654
11/30/11 at 10:35pm

That was really funny!! LOL!

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post #483 of 654
12/1/11 at 5:56am

chameleon.jpg

 

online.jpg

 

emergency.jpg

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post #484 of 654
12/1/11 at 7:41am

Man asks a tattooist - " Can you do a tattoo of a really beautiful woman ?"

 

Tattooist - " No problem, where would you like it ? "

 

Man - " On my wife's face "

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post #485 of 654
12/1/11 at 8:02am

389054_283397748369867_106957926013851_813893_1770629733_n.jpg


Edited by tyrael - 12/1/11 at 8:04am
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post #486 of 654
12/1/11 at 8:18am

 

========
I try to avoid asking friends to contribute to causes, but here's one for which I just couldn't resist. 

A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington DC. Nothing was moving. 

Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. 

The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped Congress, and they're asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, collecting donations." 

"How much is everyone giving, on average?" the driver asks.

The man replies, "Roughly, a gallon."
 
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post #487 of 654
12/1/11 at 10:18am

These are my favorite kinds of jokes (in general). The overanalyzed answers to obvious 'troll' questions. Couldn't stop laughing. I love you internet. 
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by tyrael View Post

 


 

 

 


Edited by MorbidToaster - 12/1/11 at 10:22am
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post #488 of 654
12/1/11 at 10:22am

Just wanted to say this is probably my favorite in the entire thread. 
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Erik View Post

I was going to make a joke about the Jonestown massacre.

But the punchline is too long.


 

 

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post #489 of 654
12/1/11 at 10:39am

Start a whole thread to tell a mediocre joke?  blink.gif

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post #490 of 654
12/1/11 at 2:08pm


Haha, this is too funny.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tyrael View Post

389054_283397748369867_106957926013851_813893_1770629733_n.jpg



 

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post #491 of 654
12/1/11 at 4:43pm

alternative_energy_revolution.jpg

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post #492 of 654
12/2/11 at 6:00pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by grokit View Post


XKCD is brilliant.

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post #493 of 654
12/2/11 at 6:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by robm321 View Post

Start a whole thread to tell a mediocre joke?  blink.gif



Like "This joke is totally lame." thread?

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post #494 of 654
12/2/11 at 7:49pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by sridhar3 View Post

XKCD is brilliant.


It used to be.

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post #495 of 654
12/2/11 at 7:59pm

It's hit or miss now but still funny pretty often.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Head Injury View Post


It used to be.



 

 

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