A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'Hey, we have a drink named after you!'
The grasshopper looks surprised and says, 'You have a drink named Steve?'
A dog walks into a bar. He hops up on a bar stool and puts his front paws on the bar.
He looks the bartender right in the eye and says, "Hey, guess what? I'm a talking dog.
Have you ever seen a talking dog before?How about a drink for the talking dog?"
The bartender thinks for a moment and says, "Alright.The toilet's right around the corner."
What did the apple say to the worm? You're boring me.
Why did the ram fall off the cliff? Because he didn't see the ewe turn.
A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start having a few quiet drinks.As the night goes on, they get pretty drunk.
The giraffe finally passes out near the pool tables, and the man decides to go home.
As the man is leaving, he's approached by the barman who says, "Hey, you're not gonna leave that lyin' here, are ya?"
"Hmph," says the man, "that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
What weighs 2,000 pounds and pinches? An elephant wearing a tight tuxedo!
What's the national bird of Afghanistan? DUCK!!!
What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.
What's the easiest way to put a giraffe in a fridge? By opening the door and putting it in.
How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? You open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.
The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend, except one. Which animal does not attend? The elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator.
There is a river you must cross. But it is filled with crocodiles.How do you manage it? You swim across -- all the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.