I've made a wise decision...finally.

I just wanted to share with ya'll how proud of myself I am right now with myself. For the past five or six years straight, I've been severely addicted to nicotine in one form or another. I've just about tried it all -- cigarettes for a very short time, smoking pipes for a longer period of time, and even chewing tobacco for years back to back. I denied to myself the fact that I was killing myself slowly and that nicotine wasn't helping me to lose a couple of pounds either.

This week (or this semester for that matter) is very stressful. I've got a full plate with coursework alone and I'm struggling to reach my goal of making a 3.5 GPA this semester (though I still believe I'll get there). I've got my work (and attendance) cut out for me with six full weeks left over. Yeah, this would be the right time to chew tobacco or smoke (or both). BUT, I decided to just quit. Frankly, I got tired of doing it over and over again. I just got tired.

So, I read up on a bunch of psychology books on addiction and stuff. I decided to make my former drug of choice (i.e., nicotine) and replace it with my new one (i.e., music played through hi-fi equipment). I'm not saying that I'll have relapses nor am I saying that quitting cold turkey worked for me either. But, this feeling in my gut -- tiredness -- is the result of being frustrated, angry, and just plain exhausted with nicotine addiction.

If you take a look at my signature, you'd be right to assume I'm a pretty optimistic kind of guy (which I am). I've decided not to make nicotine (or food) my drugs of choice. Instead, my drug of choice is music. I'll figure out a way to gradually phase out my nicotine addiction permanently. But, I've decided to live longer days from now on. I'm too tired to go back to my former days. As the British Actor Michael Cain once remarked, "I only go forward from here."

I think that this time it will finally stick. When I tried to give up my nicotine addiction, I'd be back chewing tobacco the very next day (or that same evening). This has been the longest period where I just did not decide to spend another $5.50 to get another can of chew. Whenever I think about it, I still get the urge like it's a psychological dependency (which it is) but in my heart I'm feeling too tired to start that crap up all over again.

Yay for me! I might make it to 100 years of age!

I think that I've developed an addiction to music myself...I know that I've developed an addiction to buying HiFi equipment already!!!

Before, I couldn't study or read while listening to music. Now, I know that certain types of music induce longer periods of study / reading.

It's when I am done, turn off the lights, lie down in my bed, and just soak up all the notes and voices at very late hours in the night that I am in my strongest states (i.e., euphoria, sadness, happiness, jammin', etc.). But it was like that whenever I was chewing tobacco too. It's just that I realize I don't need that junk between my lips no more. Keep up the support. It helps remind me of my commitment & resolve to kick my ugly habit for good.

Hey! It's been my first week and a half without nicotine in the past five years! Yippie!