*Update*
Unfortunately I was not able to use the ceramic insulators n_maher recommended, they were a little too thick and would have left the FET legs too short to be solderable to the underside of the boards it’s a very tight fit, but definitely a consideration for my next project. I found these instead:
BERGQUIST|2015-54|THERMAL PAD, TO-220 | Farnell Australia
The material is boron nitride loaded silicon elastomer, and they are at least twice as thick as the standard pads at 0.38mm. I felt a lot more comfortable with these pads, although one did tear quite easily from over tightening, as n_maher stated a snug fit is all that’s needed.
The old FET’s were removed, although I hadn’t blown any, I felt I had traumatized the legs several times and wanted to wipe the slate clean for a totally new installation. I applied a liberal dose of thermal paste to the underside of each FET and pad with a clean makeup brush for an even layer.



The two boards now measure no shorts and power up just fine, thanks again for your help!
EDIT: The underside of the board has a nylon washer and M3 nut followed by a standoff, I’ll use some loctite on the standoff’s to limit any chance of assembly becoming loose.