Anger Issue Question - Page 2

Tell that to my oldest sister.

Some situations are different.

Great advice.

Divorces are almost rough, and when kids are involved, it's even worse. Parents should always put their kids first, and many times, the exes fail to remember that.

My advice to you is to always put your son first. Never show anger over your ex in front of him. Never speak ill of her, even if she does things that are bad for the situation. In time, wounds will heal, and your son will be better off free from the battle that would have raged with him privy to it. I know you probably already know and do all of this. Sometimes it helps to read it from someone else. This crappy period in your life will blow over, trust me.

AudioDwebe, I got the unedited version hehe - you sound like a top father. Chin up and ride through this the best you can, I think your smart and strong enough to handle this. All the very best.

I'm having a similar problem, more with her bf, but she is allowing him to control things. So I hate him, but Im starting to really hate her too. Im not seeing my kids for xmas because he wont let me until I sit with both of them and get told how it is...barf. No thanks. She can live with knowing her stupid choice is what ruined xmas, not mine.

Yes, you do have a problem with anger. You might be handlin things well, but you're still dwelling on her. You shouldn't be. That is time and effort wasted on someone who doesn't deserve it.

No, it's not your fault and you're probably justified in being angry. But you cannot let that control your life or take up your time.

I've been through something similar. I had an awful fianceé who was a nasty drunk. She'd get keyed up about something or other and would throw the occasional plate or coffee mug at me. I never retaliated - I cleared out fast. Once through an open window (she was between me and the door) and I'd wander the streets or crash in the park.

I got out of that relationship as quickly as possible, but I wasted a lot of time being angry. Not long after, one of my closest friends was unceremoniously dumped by his wife. It was tough on him.

Anyhow, we spent a lot of time intoxicated and doing typical guy stuff. If you're not hanging with the guys, you should. There's a lot to be said for going out for beer or making smoky burnouts in a ratty old El Camino. You can't be entirely irresponsible, but that stuff helps.

Try taking up a new hobby. Get a soldering iron. Every time you start dwelling on the relationship, go work on your Beta22 or something. It'll take your mind off things and you'll do something productive. Or get a $500 car to wrench on or whatever. Just have a project handy that you can jump into when you start to dwell and get angry.

Also, think about what you get from dwelling on something. Nothing. Dwelling never makes anything better and has never improved anything. So when you find yourself dwelling, tell yourself that that isn't going to change anything. Then go turn on the soldering iron and get excited about your project.

When you're ready, start dating again. There are good women out there and someone is going to love spending time with you.

AudioDwebe: Based on your original reply, it sounds like you will have a son that will love you very much in the end. It may not seem like things are going your way now, but kids pick up on the little things, and each one ads up. As he gets older, he will start to put the pieces together and see what you have done for him. Kids grow up, they see things in a more realistic and adult light, and they will redefine who their parents are based on actions throughout their life. As long as you put your game face on and keep doing the things you are, your son will have the best chance possible to have a great relationship with you. Unfortunately, you cannot do much to change your ex. That ball is in her court. She is a fool if she does not understand the stakes are very high, and what she does now will impact her relationship with her son in the long run. Kids grow up, they see things in a more realistic and adult light, and they will redefine who their parents are based on actions throughout their life.

It is probably better that way. Venting is fine, but the internet is forever.

You are forgetting one key thing: they share a son. Unlike you, he cannot make a clean break and do his own thing. He has to still look after his son, and she will always be his mother.

I do not know anything about AudioDwebe, and all I know about this is what I have read, but he does not exhibit one ounce of an anger problem based on what I have read. Divorce is a pain in the ass, and lingering emotions is most certainly a part of it. Based on what I have read (again, I am just going by what I have read), he seems to be handling everything as expected.




EDIT: Yeah, I know, triple post. Blah, blah

Damnit, I have coffee all over my keyboard. You, sir, are one funny SOB. I just read your response to the "cable" question on your profile. LMAO

The problem is not the problem, but how you react to , and handle the problem.
To err is human, but to forgive is divine.
Be and do the best you can, and remember we're all but human.