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Being single sucks...

post #1 of 179
11/9/09 at 8:48am
Thread Starter 
My boyfriend left me about 3 months ago and I have to say, being single... really really sucks! Sure, it has its perks but mostly, its just empty and lonely. Anybody else in the same boat?
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post #2 of 179
11/9/09 at 8:49am
=)

nah. everything is a learning experience. as long as you don't grow pessimistic. Pick yourself up and learn from this experience so that you can then put that effort into the next relationship that comes your way.

I always try to tell myself or ask myself how I'm gonna be able to make it right in the next relationship and hopefully it'll be the last. I'm turning 25 pretty soon and single. In the same boat, but there's only so much one can do about it. Gotta get on with life and make sure we don't pass the next boat that comes.
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post #3 of 179
11/9/09 at 8:53am
Thread Starter 
You know thats a wonderful attitude, Im going to be 25 in May... Thank you!
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post #4 of 179
11/9/09 at 9:04am
Sometimes relationships just dont work even though you have done no wrong, it simply was not meant to be so there is nothing "learn" from the past experience. You just have to look back fondly and appreciate the time you had together.

I am 30 and newly single and it does get you down from time to time, but looking forward there is your ideal partner out there for you to share your life with and you have to grab the opportunity whenever you can with a smile on your face.

Chin up kiddo, it will all work out in the end, even if today it doesnt feel like it.
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post #5 of 179
11/9/09 at 9:07am
Thread Starter 
Thank you... I knew you guys would help lift my spirits.
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post #6 of 179
11/9/09 at 9:08am
I'm 23 and have never felt the intimate touch of a woman.
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post #7 of 179
11/9/09 at 9:12am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kirosia View Post
I'm 23 and have never felt the intimate touch of a woman.
Neither have I, but for other reasons LOL
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post #8 of 179
11/9/09 at 9:31am
I'm kind of a serial monogamist, bouncing around from long-term relationship to long-term relationship. As long as you're thoughtful about what didn't work before and try to avoid the pitfalls of previous relationships (even if it means turning down a relationship that would be easy to start!), the relationships get better and more meaningful every time.
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post #9 of 179
11/9/09 at 9:34am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by AmanGeorge View Post
I'm kind of a serial monogamist, bouncing around from long-term relationship to long-term relationship. As long as you're thoughtful about what didn't work before and try to avoid the pitfalls of previous relationships (even if it means turning down a relationship that would be easy to start!), the relationships get better and more meaningful every time.
I totally agree with this, hence the reason im still single. Im being so much pickier this time around!
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post #10 of 179
11/9/09 at 9:43am
I know a lot people who can't do without a relationship. If the one ends they jump straight to another in a couple of weeks. They are very depressive if they haven't got a partner and don't really know what to do alone. I think you can only succeed in a partnership if you are self-assured and know what to do with your time and life even when you are alone. You have to stand your own ground and you'll learn it only during your "solo" years.
So, long story short: Don't be pessimistic and don't try to find another boyfriend just to not be alone. Use your solo time, you yourself are worth something and you'll recognize this... and somewhere out there waits the "right" guy for you. You just don't know each other, jet.

Cheers.
bearmann
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post #11 of 179
11/9/09 at 9:50am
As desolately lonely as it is to be by yourself, it is a scorching, soul-withering hell to be in a bad relationship and effectively miserable and alone. The really bad relationships with bad people are difficult to get out of if you've been together a long time. The really bad relationships with good but profoundly mixed-up people are even harder to leave.

I spent a huge portion of the last twelve months getting extricated from a serious three-year relationship with a wonderful person who'd somehow managed to get herself completely stuck in life. I still care a great deal for her, but I wouldn't go back. It's lousy being by yourself, and when the apartment's a shambles, and the money's run out ten days before payday, there's nobody to yell at besides yourself. But it's a twenty-four carat delight to know that, though you've got lots of problems, dealing with somebody else's problems isn't one of them.
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post #12 of 179
11/9/09 at 9:57am
Thread Starter 
Thanks guys for the great input! You know theres a German saying that I love so much... "Lieber ein ende mit schrecken als schrecken ohne ende". Basically translated means "Better a horrible end than horror without end". Completely applies to the last 3 years of my life with an alcoholic.

Thanks guys for everything!
Vielen dank für alles!
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post #13 of 179
11/9/09 at 9:58am
I agree. Definitely do not seek a rebound relationship. I've been single for over a year now after being in a longer than 2 year relationship that was getting serious. I remember longing for company and never fully getting over her for several months. Now? I couldn't enjoy life more. I have so much free time to hang out with friend, meet new people, enjoy life without attachments, save money(Not really happening by being here on head-fi ). And I see you're from California too. imho, residents of California are really materialistically driven. Guys and girls are included in this category. It's all about money and looks rather than personality and a sense of humor. It's really hard to find a "normal" person. haha I guess it could be worse here since it's the Los Angeles area. But there's a lot of fish in the sea. Don't give up and don't rush it. When you find the right person you'll know it right away.

btw, I also happen to be 25 as well. Is that some kind of magic number around here?
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post #14 of 179
11/9/09 at 10:01am
Thread Starter 
Yeah youre totally right about California. Im so sick of all the drugs, alcohol abuse and weirdos. I just want someone "normal"... whatever the hell that is.
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post #15 of 179
11/9/09 at 10:05am
heh. we will all find our mr and mrs right =P wait for it. hahaha...in the mean time, i'll be stuck with my stuffed monkey called diggleby. LOL
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