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Woman question. Also pertains to different customs.  

post #1 of 42
11/1/09 at 11:36pm
Thread Starter 
I went to this hair salon. I think it's family run. Vietnamese. And one of the first thing she asked was, if I was married.. Wouldn't, do you have a GF or single be more suitable. I assume she is interested. She lives with her big family. What is the courtship phase wise, ala getting in good with her parents and family? Is dating a white American male a no, no in general? All the women I dated have been American born and raised.
post #2 of 42
11/2/09 at 12:08am
As a Vietnamese 25 yo myself, it would really depend on the family. My family started out as very traditional, demanding that I marry only a nice vietnamese boy. However over time, our views got more and more lenient and now my family just wishes me to be settled with a nice guy who has a good job and good values.

Getting in good with a vietnamese family at least mine depends on hard labor haha. My parents like to see how far a guy will go for me or my sister and how much he will help the family when we need it. It also means being around, trying to learn the customs, being polite and not too outspoken while at the same time being steady and dependable. It might be diffcult depending on how traditional the family is, but I find that it just takes time.
post #3 of 42
11/2/09 at 12:16am
Careful, she sounds like she wants you more for financial support. I'm southeast Asian, and it's very common for women, particularly younger ones straight from the old country, to try and con men into being with them for money or to satisfy emotional/physical needs. (As opposed to actual love) I had a girl in her mid-20s who'd I'd never met, but only spoke to on the phone a couple times, practically ask me to marry her and have her children. Kirosia don't wanna be no baby daddy.
post #4 of 42
11/2/09 at 12:20am
Its a cultural difference, you of being a different race than her. She would probably not ask the same question to a male of the same descent as hers as it would imply a different meaning.
post #5 of 42
11/2/09 at 12:22am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kirosia View Post
Careful, she sounds like she wants you more for financial support. I'm southeast Asian, and it's very common for women, particularly younger ones straight from the old country, to try and con men into being with them for money or to satisfy emotional/physical needs. (As opposed to actual love) I had a girl in her mid-20s who'd I'd never met, but only spoke to on the phone twice or so, and she talked about marriage and having children. Aisorik don't wanna be no baby daddy.
Stereotyping?
post #6 of 42
11/2/09 at 12:25am
Quote:
Originally Posted by wuwhere View Post
Stereotyping?
Perhaps, but there is some real truth to it. If you just meet a girl, particularly an fob at a hair salon, restaurant, etc. and one of the first thing she asks you is if you're married, then that's definitely a red flag. I assume you're also Asian, so you must know the pressure families put on their children (particularly daughters) to marry, have financial stability, and make babies. It's definitely a negative part of our culture.

Although, it's possible that she was just flirtin' or downright messin' with the OP.
post #7 of 42
11/2/09 at 12:30am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kirosia View Post
Perhaps, but there is some truth to it. If you just meet a girl, particularly at a hair salon, restaurant, etc. and one of the first thing she asks you is if you're married, then that's definitely a red flag.

Although, it's possible that she was just flirtin' or messing with the OP.
Or perhaps just trying to break the ice and start an innocent conversation with someone who she is providing a service for?
post #8 of 42
11/2/09 at 12:34am
That's what I meant by "just flirtin' or messin' with the OP". She may actually like him or she may just wanna break the ice, but he seems to think there might be something deep (hence the creation of the thread), so I'm just givin' him a heads up.
post #9 of 42
11/2/09 at 1:04am
Thread Starter 
I think she 'likes' me. I already told her that I like her, and she says she likes me too.. Seems genuine. I went in one time and there was a man there with her.. When she was doing my hair, out of the blue, she told me that was her brother, and that she lives with her large family. She also keeps tabs on when I come in. I come in every two weeks, this time it was 3. She immediately brought that up when I got there. I asked if she is single.. She claims she is. I know I smile a lot when I'm around her.. Just not sure if I want to ask her out. Actually she asked me if I was married twice. The first two time times I seen her. There were a few other hair dressers there. She was having a conversation with them in Vietnamese. I got the impression they were talking about me.
post #10 of 42
11/2/09 at 1:16am
Ask her when she has a day off and go sight seeing. Asian women, in general, are uncomfortable being alone with a male whom they don't have a relationship with, so ask her to bring along a friend or two.
post #11 of 42
11/2/09 at 1:25am
I can't believe nobody asked the most important question yet - was she hot?
post #12 of 42
11/2/09 at 1:49am
Quote:
Originally Posted by dj_mocok View Post
I can't believe nobody asked the most important question yet - was she hot?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and in this case, kool bubba ice is the beholder. I think the fact that he made this thread indicates how he feels about her.
post #13 of 42
11/2/09 at 2:01am
^ Actually, there's growing evidence that there are psychological universals of physical attractiveness. Or at least markers of reproductive fitness that could be construed as normative criteria for attractiveness.

So, what's it gonna be bubba? Is she hot?

Ah, biracial love. The best kind there is. Genetically prudent too.
post #14 of 42
11/2/09 at 2:12am
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonathanjong View Post
Ah, biracial love. The best kind there is. Genetically prudent too.
Now that is creepy statement. Love is love, regardless of color, class, or pokemon type.
post #15 of 42
11/2/09 at 2:23am
Sure it is. But doesn't mean there aren't different kinds.
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