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post #61 of 63
10/11/09 at 2:12am
Quote:
Originally Posted by AC1 View Post
...Playing games like that usually leads to some very messy can of worms unless you are very experienced in dealing with these situations.
You keep saying the bold part. WHY? This is horrible advice, because what makes someone experienced in mind-games, power plays, manipulation, and unhealthy relationships? Playing games with your partner is a telltale sign that things are going wring. What you basically saying is do not do it unless you are an experienced ass.

Quote:
Originally Posted by skitlets View Post
Is everyone here incapable of being friends with an ex? I see a significant other as a friend you happen to be physically attracted to. If the connection is lost, can't you still be friends?

I talk to my ex every once in a while and it's no big deal. Yes, I do have a girlfriend and she is perfectly okay with what I do.
You are an exception to the rule. You are also lucky. I could not carry on a conversation with my one ex, because we ended not so well as you. I would be willing to bet that most relationships end with no possibility of friendship in sight.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy Camper View Post
Reality check. Are you mature enough to see the person as a friend or a good lay? Don't ruin a friend over sex.
The ex seems to be a bit of a stalker. She already knows who he is, because she befriended his sister without getting confirmation if it was him in the first place. It is creepy, plain and simple. Neither option you propose is worthy of exploration.
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post #62 of 63
10/11/09 at 3:07am
Trust me when I say stay away. There is this one girl, who I've never had a relationship with, never gave her any signs of interest, never touched her, I even call her fat when she asks me who I think is prettier, etc., that stalks me constantly. She found out where my dorm is by asking others (I assume), sneaks in, knocks on my door, I tell her I'm busy, close the door, she goes bezoinkers, causes a scene, grills at any girls I talk to, they respond, ***** do you know her?, no I say. One girl even said, omg *myname*, did you bang her or something? GOD NO I said. She is ruining my life and I'm single. It's a real nightmare...
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post #63 of 63
10/11/09 at 4:30am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy Camper View Post
Reality check. Are you mature enough to see the person as a friend or a good lay? Don't ruin a friend over sex.
I'm not quite sure what you mean here. I am assuming you do not like getting together if she is a friend first. If all goes well, friendships aren't ended over sex when the sex stops. But then again, very few things end well. Instinctively I'd go for it but I like to follow the gut instead of wracking my brain over relationship matters.


Quote:
Originally Posted by roadtonowhere08 View Post
You keep saying the bold part. WHY? This is horrible advice, because what makes someone experienced in mind-games, power plays, manipulation, and unhealthy relationships? Playing games with your partner is a telltale sign that things are going wring. What you basically saying is do not do it unless you are an experienced ass.
I agree with ya. I dislike social games in general, but the whole mind game and sneaking around is just bad news. The current girlfriend deserves complete honesty and transparency. What's a relationship without trust?


Quote:
Originally Posted by roadtonhowhere08
You are an exception to the rule. You are also lucky. I could not carry on a conversation with my one ex, because we ended not so well as you. I would be willing to bet that most relationships end with no possibility of friendship in sight.
I honestly thought the same, that I wouldn't ever talk to her again. It was a pretty nasty breakup, made worse by having many mutual friends so we ran into each other a lot. It took maybe 2-3 years before we were cordial and speaking again. But I'm glad I did! It brings about a great sense of peace instead of having spiteful thoughts at the thought of her.
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