Head-Fi / Audiophile Clichés

One of my favorites:

"This ______ is so great, it easily compares to equipment that costs _____ times as much."

"there's too much bass" -- LIES! NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH BASS!

Grado's "get your toes tappin"

We mustn't forget ... night and day difference

I love the price comparisons. "It sounds like a $2,000" amp or "beats $3,000 sources." As if a particular dollar amount denotes a level of quality.

There is no relationship between money and sound.

On the same line of reasoning, spending certain percentages on gear is equally ridiculous. The whole "60% on headphones, 30% on amp, etc. etc." is equally silly. The relationship simply doesn't exist.

"This is simply the BEST headphone that I have ever heard"

"This is the best headphone in the world"

"This headphone is better than HE90, HE60, R10, K1000, HP1000, Omega1/2, L3000, HD800, J13pro, PS1000, PS1, Edition 8."

This.

And this.

Hatehatehate.

"You can hear the blackness between notes" or "this re-cable has a darker background."

I know what they mean, but wtf? You can't hear darkness.... just say it's silent between notes!

"Raises the bar for performance," "Redefines the standards," or any such blather.

I would have used the "vomit" smiley, but this site does not seem to have it.

"World class". WTF is that?

"With -X headphone here- I could hear entirely new details and passages on that recording"

This is probably true only when comparing a decent can with a pair of earbuds.

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Descriptions that I tolerate depending on use
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"World Class"
X is X% better than Y.
More defined bass and separation.
Like a veil has been lifted.
X is as good as Y which is $$$$ more than X.
Better depth and perception.


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9 things I hate about "audiophiles"
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1. People who own multi-thousand dollar systems and a dozen "demo" albums.
2. People who say all recordings sound better on their system.
3. People who trash old music simply because it is old.
4. People who think modern = better.
5. People who think more expensive = better.
6. People who think a cable = tone control.
7. People who think a cable = eq control.
8. People who focus on the system rather than music.
9. People who judge components based only on name brand.

Funny story:

I was talking with a client who wants me to master an album for him. He is a big gear head and insisted on knowing what "gear and stuff" I use. I rarely ever give up such information as there is an ongoing school of thought that if you use X gear and X plug-ins with X software, then you must be good and the mastering must be good. I hate being judged by the gear I use and how expensive/inexpensive and/or exclusive/non-exclusive it might be.

Anyway, after I mastered two of his songs and sent them back he responded with glee. He was thrilled with the "sound and how natural and spacious and awesome" it was and how the before and after was "like night and day". He called me once again asked what I used.

Me: "Hey Man, how's it going? Glad to hear your happy with the results"
***Shooting the breeze and discussing goes on***
Him: "So, dude, what did you use on the vocals? It sounds great."
Me: "You know I don't tell."
Him: "Come on! You gotta tell me... (etc, goes on and on)."
Me: "Sorry. No."
Him: "It's not like I'm gonna steal your business. What's the software or hardware called?"
Me. "Fine. I use a Sonic Decrapulator Model No. 9 with advanced micro-dynamic processing and analog quantization parameters."
Him: "Wow. Where can I get that?"

Me:

I wanted to laugh so hard but couldn't as he really believed me. To his credit...he is a pot head.

does "Welcome to Head-fi, sorry about your wallet!" count?

And I really want a Sonic Decrapulator now

Phnaarh!! Those guys just don't get no respect. 'Especially the rich ones ('Deadhead sticker on the Humvee bumper).