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Question about wearing a ring on your ring finger

post #1 of 34
3/30/09 at 2:20am
Thread Starter 
I know this older lady at work and I know she is not married, but she wears a ring on her left ring finger.

I also heard that some women that work in a business where guys hit on them alot wear a ring just so that they can reject dudes by telling them they are married.

So I don't really get it, do some people wear a ring on that finger just for the heck of it without being married?

Do you or do you know someone that wears a ring on that finger for a different reason other than being married?
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post #2 of 34
3/30/09 at 2:36am
yeah, my mom has done that at work from time to time (quasi-office setting), and some of my female friends have done it "once" or "twice" (like worn a ring to a single event, not on a daily basis)

the average guy will usually clock the ring finger at least once before making a move, its not really "for the heck of it", its more because most women that do this aren't "cruising for action", and are there to do their job/get paid/whatever

and the average guy can be kind of a prick

it sort of affords that "mythos of protection" (i.e: don't hit on me or my husband will do something)

and theres nothing ethically/fundamentally wrong with it imho

now as far as "do I know someone who wears rings on that finger for different reasons", yeah, they've run out of other fingers/toes/places for jewelry
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post #3 of 34
3/30/09 at 6:46am
if its definitely a wedding band and they do it with this in mind I think its pretty disgusting.
I expect honesty at the very least if she is not interested. Theres nothing wrong with guys trying- how else will we get a girlfriend?
It's pretty arrogant on their behalf if you ask me.
I dont know anyone who wears a wedding band on their ring finger. Ive seen some wear signet rings (blatantly not marriage related) on their finger, though.
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post #4 of 34
3/30/09 at 7:08am
wow. this really surprised me.
Disgusting? Arrogant? Really?
Is it possible that maybe they don't want to hurt a guy's feelings?

I wear a ring because I like the feel of it. And it looks ok as well.
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post #5 of 34
3/30/09 at 7:13am
Is there some sort of rule where people must wear rings? Not all traditions or customs dictates that a person who is married must or musn't wear a ring. Personally I believe where people wear their rings, if they do, is their business - whether they are married or not.
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post #6 of 34
3/30/09 at 7:20am
Quote:
Originally Posted by CDBacklash View Post
if its definitely a wedding band and they do it with this in mind I think its pretty disgusting.
I expect honesty at the very least if she is not interested. Theres nothing wrong with guys trying- how else will we get a girlfriend?
It's pretty arrogant on their behalf if you ask me.
I dont know anyone who wears a wedding band on their ring finger. Ive seen some wear signet rings (blatantly not marriage related) on their finger, though.
dude, you aren't supposed to be scoping babes at work, work-place relationships can get WEIRD (unless you marry the person, its weird), and some women get sick of being asked out constantly "because you aren't married, I have to have a girlfriend!", it isn't dishonesty (especially given that they'll usually tell people they trust/know, so if you know her and want to evolve the relationship into something romantic (i.e: courting) then things work out, but the casual "imma walk by and ask you out" approach (aka: the downfall of manners and chastity) gets really old to hear/deal with)
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post #7 of 34
3/30/09 at 11:59am
Quote:
Originally Posted by CDBacklash View Post
if its definitely a wedding band and they do it with this in mind I think its pretty disgusting.
I expect honesty at the very least if she is not interested. Theres nothing wrong with guys trying- how else will we get a girlfriend?
It's pretty arrogant on their behalf if you ask me.
I dont know anyone who wears a wedding band on their ring finger. Ive seen some wear signet rings (blatantly not marriage related) on their finger, though.
It means they're not looking and not interested. Why waste your time?
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post #8 of 34
3/30/09 at 12:17pm
Just wondering about the ring thing or are you interested? Is it a diamond type wedding band ring, or just a ring? Have you tried to talk with her? Is she friendly? Stand-off'ish? The ring may not mean as much as one would think. Unfortunately, in todays' world of so much infidelity, married, not married, ring, no ring has little effect on whether someone is willing to hook up with another. Some women (and vice versa) prefer a married man to keep the relationship unattached and simple. Pathetic but quite common.

If you are interested in her and are certain she is not married, talk to her. You should find out soon enough if she is interested.
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post #9 of 34
3/30/09 at 12:34pm
I'm married and don't wear a ring, because I hate rings and they aren't safe. They aren't even allowed in the cleanroom at work for safety reasons. When I first met my wife, I thought she was married because she wore a ring on her ring finger of her right hand, which I didn't notice that it was her right hand. Luckily I pursued her anyway and found out my error. Rings don't mean much and I wouldn't let the presence of absence of a ring be a big decider in my actions towards a woman.
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post #10 of 34
3/30/09 at 12:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Erik View Post
It means they're not looking and not interested. Why waste your time?
Why spend money to put a facade that says "im married" when you clearly arent? A simple "no" would be easier - it's not like every guy in the room is going to hit on you. And if they are, either get over yourself or get a job modelling, if you ask me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hot Pixel View Post
wow. this really surprised me.
Disgusting? Arrogant? Really?
Is it possible that maybe they don't want to hurt a guy's feelings?
I'm sure there are cases where this is the point, but what kind of person puts a barrier between themselves and other people when they go out? Sort of defeats the purpose if you ask me. If you aren't going to build a bridge for relationships theres not much point. Why limit your options when there are a lot of unique people out there... including those that would use this method to eliminate those they are "better" than.
You dont think it would be so easy to say to an attractive guy "oh it's my grandmothers" when you could easily say "oh im married" to another guy of lesser aesthetic appeal? Who is to say that boy isnt the more suited for you? I'd prefer the straightforwardness that is *typically associated with men.
I think i need therapy... but theres a kind of deception associated with it that I dont appreciate, even though it might not be the intention
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post #11 of 34
3/30/09 at 1:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by CDBacklash View Post
A simple "no" would be easier
Hardly. Putting a ring on takes mere moments, whereas fielding attempts all night in a considerate fashion could be pretty tiring. It's a lot easier if you're inconsiderate, sure, but most people would prefer not to be inconsiderate if they don't have to be. I can see absolutely nothing wrong with a cultural signifier of "uninterested" if the person is indeed uninterested.

I imagine women are generally on the receiving end of propositions when they go out. If putting a ring on allows them to approach men they're interested in, more power to them. My wife was wearing a ring when I met her, and I hardly let that deter me. Now she wears one for real.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CDBacklash View Post
I'd prefer the straightforwardness that is *typically associated with men.
Well, then, clearly you're going to the wrong bars
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post #12 of 34
3/30/09 at 1:15pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by CDBacklash View Post
Why spend money to put a facade tha
t says "im married" when you clearly arent? A simple "no" would be easier - it's not like every guy in the room is going to hit on you. And if they are, either get over yourself or get a job modelling, if you ask me.
How can you say that the purpose of the ring is to say "I'm married"? Not everyone knows what a the wedding ring finger signifies. And even those who knows, may not actually care.

Putting on a 'fake' wedding ring is no more deceptive than the fakery put up by most men.
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post #13 of 34
3/30/09 at 1:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by walkingman View Post
How can you say that the purpose of the ring is to say "I'm married"? Not everyone knows what a the wedding ring finger signifies. And even those who knows, may not actually care.

Putting on a 'fake' wedding ring is no more deceptive than the fakery put up by most men.
Fakery in men? More than one comes to mind please do explain.
I don't particularly have a problem with women, nor people. I think there are better ways to go about things than some people do, though. I suppose a fake wedding band is a good eliminator for me, because honesty is one of the first thing I look for in women
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sherwood View Post
Well, then, clearly you're going to the wrong bars
Well, the drinks are cheaper on the other side
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post #14 of 34
3/30/09 at 1:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by walkingman View Post
Not everyone knows what a the wedding ring finger signifies.
On this side of the pond, things are much simpler. Left ring finger = married. I'm willing to bet everyone over 10 knows what that means in America. We don't have nearly the cross-cultural influence that London has muddling up our stolid traditionalism.
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post #15 of 34
3/30/09 at 1:29pm
Not surprising at all.
I bet they get a bit less attention from the opposite sex if they wear a ring on their ring finger. Simply because its most often a waste of time hitting on them..
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