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Believable excuses to get off work - Page 3

post #31 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by xenochimera View Post
lol in one of my classes, my teacher wants documentation for all absences, thus if you were absent because of a funeral, you need to bring a pamphlet or something advertising the funeral, and then he would call the place to make sure you were actually there.
I can cover for funeral excuses. You'll just need an excuse to be at a funeral in upstate New York.

I like the trusty standbys:

*explosive diarrhea
*infected piercing "down there"
*kitty has a nosebleed
*dog bit a skunk, will be tomato saucing all weekend
post #32 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by Asr View Post
...or maybe she should just quit this job and find another one, because this manager sounds like a tool.
LOL ....that too
post #33 of 50
Say she can't make it in because she is Cinnasnacking.
post #34 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by xenochimera View Post
lol in one of my classes, my teacher wants documentation for all absences
I used to work for low-grade mongoloid idiots who insisted on a doctor's note for sick days.

A friend of mine mentioned this to his doctor, and his doctor gave him a whole pad of notes that said "Jason was ill today and could not work." with his signature, and told him to just fill in the date as needed.
post #35 of 50
Crabs.
post #36 of 50
She can say that her father or grandfather is being rushed to the hospital because of some issues with his heart, and she wants to stay with him over the weekend.
post #37 of 50
diarreah is always a good one cause since it is embarrassing to tell your employer they usually take it at face value
post #38 of 50
Well,

My Director for my choral group (all volunteer) just rescheuduled our saturday rehearsal this friday afternoon. She asked if anyone cannot go to send her an email. If she asks the reason (passover is at the same time for others) I will just have to tell her it is a meeting that has been planned for months with electronic and technology experts which I am an integral part of. * This is a Head-fi Meet * Then again, she said that I would have no loss from missing it since I have had no problems in the past. Score!
post #39 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rock&Roll Ninja View Post
I can cover for funeral excuses. You'll just need an excuse to be at a funeral in upstate New York.

I like the trusty standbys:

*explosive diarrhea
Sophomoric but works. You're going to want to add details, which will lend to the credibility of the yarn. Just "Diarrhea" is way to common an excuse to be given convincingly. You need to dress it up. Put a pill box hat and a chanel suit on that diarrhea:

Tell your employer you just got off the can and you made some inhuman animal mess in there and that it sounded like someone filling up a metal bucket with a pressure washer inside of a small tin shed. The more details you offer the less likely it is you'll be questioned further.
post #40 of 50
I guess the place I work at is pretty cool in that you can just leave or not show up to work without too much bureaucratic nonsense. Just send an email out to the team saying you're out and for how long.
post #41 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by intoflatlines View Post
To everyone asking why she can't be honest to her boss, it's because her boss is really anal about getting to work early and staying late.. He always is lecturing people about how he makes it to work no matter what, ever.. She can't take a personal day or whatever because she doesn't have any yet, so she is getting no pay for the off day anyway. He's always trying to guilt trip his employees about appointments and stuff, and it's just really annoying.

I didn't figure that anyone would have a brilliant idea for an excuse anyway, but I thought I'd ask anyway.
I believe a couple people mentioned this already, but I will also for emphasis: she needs to find another job (and I don't mean to sound flippant). The type of employers you mentioned are generally not worth the trouble it takes to work for them. It is much more important to work smartly than to work long hours, and I'd always rather hire someone who knows how to use time efficiently over the person who long hours and is more interested in the appearance of doing work. I've seen far too many people waste far too much time working long hours to do what could've been done in half the time.

I feel fortunate in that I work in an industry that values results more than appearances.

Finally, as I reread your post above, I see that she's not getting paid for the time off anyway. In that case, I would simply mention that she needs to take days x-y off, and will return on day z. No excuse at all, just a statement of fact.

I do hope she can find a smarter, more tolerant boss in the future. Good luck.
post #42 of 50
the bigger the lie the easier it is to sell, so something with galactic warfare and doomsday devices will be most appropriate.
post #43 of 50
Easy. Just tell her to call the boss in the morning and say: "My boyfriend got a fryingpan handle stuck up his arse. Need to take him to hospital ASAP".

For next week's excuse, replace fryingpan handle with HD580.
post #44 of 50
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Asr View Post
...or maybe she should just quit this job and find another one, because this manager sounds like a tool.
That's what I was thinking.. If anyone needs to hire a chemical engineer in Chicago, let me know.

Anyway she took the days off with not too much difficulty this time.
post #45 of 50
I thought pink eye was the classic playing hooky from work excuse ..
because it's very contagious.. so you can tell your employer you have it , but you still want to come in to work cause you love your job , but the boss will insist you stay home .. genius .
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