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My last 3 years, sorry I got carried away and needed to get this off my chest - Page 3

post #31 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by arnoldsoccer4 View Post
I do have access to a school counselor, but really I think I am just going to start talking to my pastor more and more, he knows my situation without me having to explain it to him. He knows exactly what has happened (known him since I was 5). I am concerned that if I go to a school counselor I might say something wrong in my story or something and completely screw up any advice I could get.

snip
While it certainly sounds like you are sensible enough to make up your own mind, it is worth considering an alternative opinion. I don't doubt your pastor's abilities to understand your situation, but sometimes people who have been involved or associated for any length of time can lose some objectivity.

You shouldn't worry about not being able to tell the story blow-by-blow, I'm sure the counsellor is familiar enough with the scenario. As mentioned by others, the counsellor is there to listen - to let you blow of steam. If the counsellor does more talking than listening - go to a different one.

Their job is to listen and pose questions that help you work through your own issue, and offer options and alternatives. They don't actually fix your problem.

I have been a step-parent to 3 great kids for the past 10 years. While there are some similarities with your story our situation was less venomous - to avoid the issues that you are having. Even with us being very civil about things, my eldest step-daughter (8 when her parent seperated) took it the hardest. From time to time over the years she has gone to the school counsellor. And has found it very helpful.

We didn't know that she was going to the counsellor, but when she was about 15 she let slip over dinner one night that she went to the counsellor that day. The look on her face stays with me today. She thought we would be mad at her. We told her it was OK with us and that we loved her very much, and if she ever wanted either of us to come with her we'd be happy to. We also made it clear to the others as well.

You will come out the other end of this situation. Life presents us all with challenges and while it can be terribly hard at the time, these situations allow us to build character and strength.

Believe in yourself, your future and that when you get married and have kids you'll have a perspective that will allow you to parent your own kids with more love and respect.
post #32 of 39
Hang in there. I'm going through nearly the same thing (except with less moving; both my parents are still in the same county)

Quote:
Originally Posted by arnoldsoccer4 View Post
The divorce is still nasty, and money squabbles are out of control, my dad, who is fine in financial status tried to take my mom to court over $50 just to prove a point.
Wow, I thought my dad was the only one who pulled lame stuff like this. My dad takes my mom to court over basically nothing every couple months. The cases have always been thrown out, but not before bunches of lawyer meetings, court dates, and of course, $$$$ of legal bills my mom can't afford (but my dad can, he's rich).
post #33 of 39
Thread Starter 
Sorry guys I know I sound like some whiney emo kid (I am not, trust me) but this is the only place I can really vent/say anything right now.

Ugh I have been stuck in a depression rut for the last week, and I failed my first math test ever (so did 80% of the class, but still). The only thing that has kept me up is music and my friends in San Diego, I had three different offers of people saying I could come live with them until I graduated high school, and if there was any way I could I would, one said I should just have my parents send me their child support money so I could pay for food and a car and just live at their house. Is there anything else I can do to get out of this crap? I have ran, played basketball, watched movies, listened to music (I have played Into the Ocean by Blue October probably 10 times today, it's not even really my type of music, wtf?) but I just can't get my head around this it's killing me. Now our whole family is arguing to after a $400 phone bill, and my dad is complaining about living here, which I really resent because it was him and him only that decided to move here, he told me it was so he could find a job, but I know that is not the reason, he was just mad about being away from my stepmom. Also I am pretty sure my step sister has a drug problem, she has about 20 different prescriptions, and all her friends are stoners (she may be distributing), and there are pictures on her computer of drunk parties, alcohol and 20 prescriptions don't mix well I am pretty sure, and when I say drug problem, I mean that I think she is smoking pot and doing other stuff on top of the normal prescriptions, should I make her watch Requiem For a Dream with me or do I tell the step-parent and cause a huge bunch of conflict? I don't have any real condemning evidence and my stepmother is chemically dependent on prescriptions herself, so I don't think the argument will go far.

I am really about to ask my dad why we really moved out here, to get a straight answer from him, and if we can move back. What really ticks me off about all of this is that when we moved there and the step-family moved out, he promised to me that I could finish high school in San Diego.
post #34 of 39
all i can say is you're one hell of a strong guy for going through all that. you're a year younger than me and you have my utmost respect. stay strong, and just look towards the future. i feel for you and you are in my thoughts and prayers.
post #35 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by arnoldsoccer4 View Post
Sorry guys I know I sound like some whiney emo kid (I am not, trust me) but this is the only place I can really vent/say anything right now.

Ugh I have been stuck in a depression rut for the last week, and I failed my first math test ever (so did 80% of the class, but still). The only thing that has kept me up is music and my friends in San Diego, I had three different offers of people saying I could come live with them until I graduated high school, and if there was any way I could I would, one said I should just have my parents send me their child support money so I could pay for food and a car and just live at their house. Is there anything else I can do to get out of this crap? I have ran, played basketball, watched movies, listened to music (I have played Into the Ocean by Blue October probably 10 times today, it's not even really my type of music, wtf?) but I just can't get my head around this it's killing me. Now our whole family is arguing to after a $400 phone bill, and my dad is complaining about living here, which I really resent because it was him and him only that decided to move here, he told me it was so he could find a job, but I know that is not the reason, he was just mad about being away from my stepmom. Also I am pretty sure my step sister has a drug problem, she has about 20 different prescriptions, and all her friends are stoners (she may be distributing), and there are pictures on her computer of drunk parties, alcohol and 20 prescriptions don't mix well I am pretty sure, and when I say drug problem, I mean that I think she is smoking pot and doing other stuff on top of the normal prescriptions, should I make her watch Requiem For a Dream with me or do I tell the step-parent and cause a huge bunch of conflict? I don't have any real condemning evidence and my stepmother is chemically dependent on prescriptions herself, so I don't think the argument will go far.

I am really about to ask my dad why we really moved out here, to get a straight answer from him, and if we can move back. What really ticks me off about all of this is that when we moved there and the step-family moved out, he promised to me that I could finish high school in San Diego.
if i were you i would go into shell mode..keep yourself focused. stop thinking about all the step ***** and dad crap is not going to get better. it sounds like your dads new marriage has alot of stressors and may not last anyway. you have to think about the plans and future for yourself and failing math is not a good start. you said you have done well in the past. so get focused and study and finish high school strong. also you should evaluate your relationships that you have had and see if you have the same family craziness in your system and if you do seek help to change your ways. you do not want to repeat the mistakes of your parents. i have known friends who have come from real ****ey backgrounds and were able to pull them selves out and others who became the same losers as their parents. harsh..but the world is not kind and you need to be strong..good luck bro
post #36 of 39
Hang in there. Seems like you're trying to make the best of every situation which is good. Keep up the grades and get into a great college.
post #37 of 39
Thread Starter 
1911 I agree I need to just concentrate on school and block everything else out, except one thing though. What about my step-sister, I don't like her but I also don't want her to end up oding or ending up in the hospital getting her stomach pumped when I know that I can do something about it now.
post #38 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by arnoldsoccer4 View Post
1911 I agree I need to just concentrate on school and block everything else out, except one thing though. What about my step-sister, I don't like her but I also don't want her to end up oding or ending up in the hospital getting her stomach pumped when I know that I can do something about it now.
Keep in mind at all times you can't help an addict. Not even love can help. Sorry, but that is the facts.
post #39 of 39
hang in there buddy! try to put the rough times behind you and start a new "life" with college. i'm not telling you to forget your past, but to look onto new horizons to fulfill your wishes and desires! college is a fun place with plenty of new experiences and people to meet, i hope you enjoy!
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