Originally Posted by Edwood
She is keeping you as a back up in case it doesn't work out with the new guy. a.k.a. The Bigger Better Deal.
Hate to say it, it's time to move on, Andy. Or at least play the field a little, since she doesn't seem to want to be exclusive with you. But if you don't want to play that type of game, it's best just to end it.
Andy my friend!! Sorry to hear about this!
I think Ed has given you some great advice here. It does seem like she is keeping you as a back up in case it doesn't work out with the friend. However, this is from knowing her generally. You should know her better and thus you should act accordingly. This really depends on how you want to play the game and how liberal you are.
That being said, here is how I would handle it:
1) If you KNOW she is worth it, and you KNOW she LOVES you, then it may just be a harmless crush. Don't worry about it too much but be cautious. While she may love you and you know you can trust her, the other guy may not respect any of that and make his move. We are all prone to make mistakes.
2) If you feel she is worth it and that a future relationship with her is worth the extra effort, then give her some space and see if the bird flies back home. This may give you a free pass in the future.
3) If you feel she *might* be worth it, then play the field a little since there is no exclusivity and see if she reaches out to you to work things out.
4) If you feel she is not worth it, then cut the BS and go with your gut and end it now. It will save both of you some time and extra grief.
5) If you are not sure, then end it. Not being sure about a relationship, especially about your partner, to me at least, is the same as taking a business risk - if your not sure that you will win - don't take the chance.
6) If your extremely liberal.....THREESOME!!!
There are a multitude of ways you can handle this. The above is just what I would ask myself. When an old girlfriend of mine said the same thing to me (I like this guy, had lunch with him, etc etc) it took me 10 seconds to turn the car around, drop her off and break it off. She came back to me that same night. Then again, I never saw that relationship as something serious so I had no trouble taking her back.
I think Ed, knowing you and your girl, gave you some wonderful advice.
Remember, there are many fish in the sea and there is more than one soulmate for each of us. Best of luck and I wish you the best. Hope it all works out for you.