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Relationship Help: Boyfriend / Girlfriend issue - Page 5

post #61 of 150
I went through a similar situation a couple of years ago. My girlfriend of about 6 months went on a vacation and met a dude. I didn't think anything happened but just the fact that she was still considering other options was enough to lead me to end the relationship. I never looked back, and it was most certainly the right decision. There were no hard feelings or anything because we both knew that our relationship had run it's course.
post #62 of 150
Originally Posted by dilhole View Post
First of, ignore the people here who tell you to break up with her. You should be grateful for having someone as honest as this woman you're dating. If something did happen between them, believe me....She won't EVEN mention this boy to you.

Telling you of this crush/dinner IN THE FIRST PLACE means:

a. she's too honest for her own good
b. she's somewhat guilty about it (MEANING what she'll tell = truth to lessen guilt/decrease tensions )

If something did happen between them, she wouldn't have the heart to even mention the crush. And really, who in the world would?
The fact still remains that she is actually still contemplating on who to choose. If you were ever, truly in love, and that person loved you the same way back, this issue would never come up.
post #63 of 150
Been there too many times myself. Ditch her. It's difficult, but once you make the decision you'll know it's for the best (for both of you) and you can move on and find someone more suited.
post #64 of 150
just don't be a tool; i've been cheated on before by someone i thought would never do it; **** happens, don't get taken for a ride; and what you write just REEKS of compromise
post #65 of 150
We should make a poll for this. Where's that stupid Adamcalifornia when we need him?
post #66 of 150
Surprise your GF during lunch break at work, have lunch with her and possibly the guy and some other coworker say you are treating. Of course she will try to refuse, tell her you want to see this guy and she owes you this for having a "date" with him. Observe them, see how they react especially your GF, if something is going on between them you can instantly tell. If not you are sending the guy a message: I am watching you mother&%^$!

As others have mentioned, we don't know you and there is lack of details about how this situation started and your relationship with your GF. If you are in a serious-exclusive relationship that you have allready invested considerable amount of time and effort you shouldn't eagerly dump her unless there are refutable signs and you want to do so. You should always trust your GF in this kind of relationship, sure she'll make minor mistakes she is only human (don't tell me you haven't done any casual flirting with others during your relationship) but watch out for those new male single friend getting too close. You are a guy, you know what we think about and what we want.

How come I have a feeling a good portion of advices other than bang her one last time then dump her were written by female Headfiers.
post #67 of 150
Thread Starter 
you guys are amazing, i wrote things about unreleased earphones/amps and i would probably get 2-3 pages worth of comments in a few days. But I wrote something about my love life and I get 4 pages within 24 hours. I usually don't like to talk about things like this, except I feel like I'm pushed back against the wall.

To update you guys, I confronted her about the situation and she broke down into tears. Like I've never seen someone cry that much ever, I asked her to go into detail about her crush, and she said he was feeling neglected since I wasn't around as much anymore and she had dinner with him one day after work because they were both hungry, they also went to the beach together. She said she never wanted him to be her bf, and she had a 'crush' on him mainly because they both like the same thing, and she thought it was neat. If she's lying about this, it's damn good, because it makes sense. And if she wanted to break up with me, it would be the perfect time, but she said she really want us to be together. Damn guys, this got way more complicated.


Thanks so much for all your help, next meet in CA, I'll buy everyone a round. Shot out to Ed and a few of you who met me before, even though we don't talk often; it means a lot to me that you have got back.
post #68 of 150
Originally Posted by ken36 View Post
The one who loves the most loses.
Not when someone loves back. "Only love can break your heart".
post #69 of 150
Go along with her -- string her along -- BUT, change your outlook, and start seriously looking for a new love yourself, same as if you would if she is gone.
When/if you find someone new, let current GF live thru the same feelings you now have to endure.
All's fair....
Best case scenario -- having to choose between 2 gf's later....
post #70 of 150
Time to end it, I'm afraid. If she admitted to feelings for the guy, there is no such thing as an innocent dinner. I doubt if she told you everything as well. Stand tall, be cool. YOU need to end it, not her.
post #71 of 150
Im pretty certain in my cases where the two are serious when a girl meets new people after you've been together...guys, that is...Girls do not become friends with guys after they have a boyfriend. If they had guy-friends before she met you, thats a bit different. Maybe thats logic or common sense, but thats just me. Id drop her.
post #72 of 150
Originally Posted by rx7_fan View Post
Damn guys, this got way more complicated.
Not really...still the same situation. Solid relationships are based on trust and respect. When she had dinner and went to the beach with this guy, she disrespected you and violated your trust. Sure, she told you about it later, but IMHO that means squat...she's probably trying to ease her guilty conscience. You need to break it off with this woman and move on...period.
post #73 of 150

I've been you and faced essentially the same situation, except it did turn into cheating (it went from what you face to something more) and I did still take her back. In my case, she cheated again (with the same guy no less). Dump her and find someone else.
post #74 of 150
People usually project how they really feel about a relationship by there actions and subtley with their words when they don't realize it, what is said explicitly when confronted carries less weight. You can tell pretty easily when a woman is available even when she is with someone. We are all very sensitive to these signs whether we know it consciously or not. There is a certain energy given off, and always at least a mild negativity about the status quo.

At my last job a friend and I there would play this game where we spotted which women were done with there guys even though they were still with them; it was over already for them but they didn't really know it yet, hadn't admitted it to themselves or given word....I was completely accurate in predicting imminent breakups.
post #75 of 150
id say give her a chance if you love her.
if she's telling the truth. tell her your opinion about this situation.
i guess everyone should know. trust lost is hard to gain back.
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