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Relationship Help: Boyfriend / Girlfriend issue

post #1 of 150
Thread Starter 
Hey guys and gals,

I have a strange situation which is so confusing to me and thought u might be able to help. My girlfriend said she like or has a crush on another guy, but she doesn't want us to break up. It's one of her co-workers, and she said they never touch or held hand or kissed. But she said she's ate dinner with him before just the two as "friends." But since she like another guy, and been on a "date" with him, and didn't tell me, it's kinda like cheating on me. That and she suddenly act really strange with her e-mail accounts. Before I can easily access it, but now she changed the password which leads me to think there's something fishy going on. I told her, that if she likes him, maybe we should break up, but she said it's a little crush and she really wants to be with me. That's why i'm so confused.


thanks for your help guys and gals,

-Rx7
post #2 of 150
You shouldn't have access to her email accounts in the first place.
post #3 of 150
ditch her, grow some balls and end it. There are always others.
post #4 of 150
Well it's gonna be up to you. If she's telling you she wants to be with you and not the other guy, I'd say you're probably in good shape. If she just went to dinner with the other guy "as friends" there's nothing wrong with that. It's not cheating... she might not have told you right away because she was concerned how you'd react. She's obviously figured out what she wants to do since she has since told you what happened and that she wants to be with you and not him.

As far as reading her e-mails... Those should be her business. Did she know you regularly logged into her account and read her mail? Maybe she just wants that privacy back...
post #5 of 150
hit it one more time for old time's sake and then move on..or your next thread will be a crybaby thread about how you got dumped and are so blue
post #6 of 150
If the seed if mistrust has been planted, the relationship is doomed.

either that or this dilemma might bring you guys closer, every relationship is different. If you trust her and love her then I wouldn't worry too much.


keyword: If
post #7 of 150
That is unacceptable on her part. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. Really, what the ***** is that?? Personally, I would get out of that relationship before you really get hurt. There are entirely too many women in the world to be wasting time with her. I'm sorry if my response is a bit harsh, but I see trouble coming your way my friend! Good luck!

~Zip
post #8 of 150
Quote:
Originally Posted by rx7_fan View Post
Hey guys and gals,

I have a strange situation which is so confusing to me and thought u might be able to help. My girlfriend said she like or has a crush on another guy, but she doesn't want us to break up. It's one of her co-workers, and she said they never touch or held hand or kissed. But she said she's ate dinner with him before just the two as "friends." But since she like another guy, and been on a "date" with him, and didn't tell me, it's kinda like cheating on me. That and she suddenly act really strange with her e-mail accounts. Before I can easily access it, but now she changed the password which leads me to think there's something fishy going on. I told her, that if she likes him, maybe we should break up, but she said it's a little crush and she really wants to be with me. That's why i'm so confused.


thanks for your help guys and gals,

-Rx7
The crucial question is, of course, whether she is saying she will NEVER talk to him, see him, whatever in order to massage this "crush."

If she says absolutely never, give her a chance with maybe a long "probation" period.

If she so much as even *try* to give you a line, drop her like an iPod with a bad hard drive.
post #9 of 150
I see two ways of looking at this:

1. She wants to see other people but is afraid to hurt you (to break up with you).
2. She really wants to be with you.
post #10 of 150
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jon L View Post
The crucial question is, of course, whether she is saying she will NEVER talk to him, see him, whatever in order to massage this "crush."

If she says absolutely never, give her a chance with maybe a long "probation" period.

If she so much as even *try* to give you a line, drop her like an iPod with a bad hard drive.
^ good advice
post #11 of 150
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1911 View Post
hit it one more time for old time's sake and then move on..or your next thread will be a crybaby thread about how you got dumped and are so blue
Definitely.
post #12 of 150
Tell her how you feel and then ask her if she's sneaking around. Read her reactions and arm accordingly.
post #13 of 150
Sorry to hear things like that.

First, think if there are few things done by you that may make her act that way. You did something like... snoofing on her email, or privacy. etc. If you're quite sure there was nothing like that. You guys should talk. The key of that talk would be to keep yourself calm.

It looks like she is "managing" her relations.
Not all, but some people do that. Most of them are somewhat greedy or obssesed. They just won't leave you, but they try to maintain as much friends(?) as they can at the same time. It is like... they're weighing you and other people, trying to keep "possibility" in tact... so that they can have another person when you're gone.

My advice is... ask yourself what you want from her. Obeserve her behavior and find out if she is the person I described above. If you think you need a talk, then talk to her. If everything is not working for you, move on.
post #14 of 150
It's fine if she goes out with other friends, you shouldnt be jumping on **** like that. As long as it doesnt go far (ie, bed...) then you should be all set. If she has known this person for a while, then you really shouldn't worry about it.
post #15 of 150
I say leave her.....situations like this never work out for the best from my experience. A Girlfirend having dinner with another man who she has a crush on behind your back is the beginning of "well if i could hide this from him then I can hide that from him" mentality.

I'm sorry, but I have no tollerance for treatment like that, I've been stepped on so many times like that.
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