Be a man and break that bone over your knee!
Ya know, I'd even volunteer to be the guy that sits next to the spit and turns the handle and drinks beer (of course). That big old beef chunk looks fantastic!
Haggis is bloody tasty. Traditionally served with tatties (potatoes) and neeps (swede/rutabaga), both mashed, I keep the tatties but substitute the neeps for roasted squash.
The flavour of haggis is deep, dark, meaty and peppery. There was a ban on importing it to the USA for a while - I don't know if that's still the case. If you can get a haggis, it usually comes already cooked, so all you need to do it re-heat it, which can be done in a microwave if you like.
Then you only have the choice of reciting Rabbie Burns or not before plunging the knife in and enjoying. If you absolutely must, here 'tis:
Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin'-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye worthy o' a grace
As lang's my arm.
The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o need,
While thro your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.
His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An cut you up wi ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Then, horn for horn, they stretch an strive:
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
The auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi perfect scunner,
Looks down wi sneering, scornfu view
On sic a dinner?
Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckless as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Thro bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!
But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll make it whissle;
An legs an arms, an heads will sned,
Like taps o thrissle.
Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies:
But, if ye wish her gratefu prayer,
Gie her a Haggis
I worked for a Scottish company in Hong Kong in the late 1980s.
Every year we'd host a black tie Burns supper and they'd bring in the haggis with pipes.
Served with neeps (which I thought were turnips) and tatties and a splash of whiskey...tasty!!!