Take a break and read a Short Story! - Head-Fi: Covering Headphones, Earphones and Portable Audio

unlimitedx · #1 (**permalink**) 01-20-2007, 03:09 AM

NOTE: I did not write this. Props to whoever did

This took place in the old days when the houses in Japan still used paper sheets for walls and doors. A young business man was traveling through town after a day of hard work. He though he could make it back home but it got dark before he knew it. He didn't want to waste time going back to the town for shelter and thought perhaps he could find a house down the road. Lucky for him, he saw a glimmer of light a little ways off the road and decided to try asking for shelter there. He came upon this little hut and knocked on the door. An old man came out and asked if he could be of any help. "Would you be so kind to let me stay tonight? I will pay you for a room."

"Nonsense! I'll be happy to let you stay. I don't many visitors out here. Come on in!" Te old man said. He gave the young man food and told him he could have the spare room. While walking to his appointed room, the young man noticed another room right next to his. Saying thanks to the kind old man, the young man went into his room. After he blew out the candle to go to sleep, the young man heard a soft melodic sound from the next room. It sounded like someone singing. Being curious, he crawled to the wall, wet his finger, and poked a little hole in the wall (remember the wall was made of rice paper). He peeked into the hole and saw the most beautiful woman dancing and singing, her long black hair covered one side of her face. He looked away from the wall and thought to himself, why didn't the old man introduce them? He decided to look back into the hole but all he saw was a red glow and nothing else. Maybe he was dreaming, he thought, and decided to go back to bed.

The next morning, the young man was waken up to eat breakfast. While they were both seated, the young man asked his host who was the beautiful woman in the room next to his last night. The old man was shocked. "There's no one there. That was my daughter's room until she died. She was born with a disfigurement and could never find a suitor to marry her, so she ended her life in that room."
"What was the disfigurement?"
"She was born with one red eye."

Comments and opinions? I felt it was *really* good the first time I read it.

euclid · #2 (**permalink**) 01-20-2007, 04:01 AM

i liked it thanks for posting, its like by opening the hole to satisfy his own curiosity he inadvertently created a method to be watched himself.

Usagi · #3 (**permalink**) 01-20-2007, 04:28 AM

The host so graciously offered the man a room for the night and the guest repays him by poking holes in his walls. How discourteous!

By the way, good short story.

redshifter · #4 (**permalink**) 01-20-2007, 04:31 AM

nice zinger at the end. i like.

Jahn · #5 (**permalink**) 01-20-2007, 04:46 AM

EEK! HAL'S STARING AT ME!

Mrvile · #6 (**permalink**) 01-20-2007, 05:01 AM

I wouldn't call it "amazing" but it was very good for the mere three paragraphs it took. A nice little ending, but somewhat expected.

exX08 · #7 (**permalink**) 01-20-2007, 05:45 AM

I liked it.

Lazarus Short · #8 (**permalink**) 01-20-2007, 07:46 PM

Yikes, I went like "Wooooooooo!!" and threw my hands up. That WAS unexpected.

Laz

TheMarchingMule · #9 (**permalink**) 01-20-2007, 09:36 PM

...That's kinda creepy.

Pretty good though for only three paragraphs. Original horror is best when it's self-mental processing, like the Japanese kind. The American ones focus more on gore and pop-ups, which is kind of lame at times, but still scares the bonkers out of me.

MikeB06 · #10 (**permalink**) 01-20-2007, 09:46 PM

That was great. The end actually got me startled a bit. I think it works so well because you actually put yourself in the place of the man in the story...creepy. Very cool story, especially for 3 short paragraphs.