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"Admittedly, this is not what we were expecting," said Robert Harwood, a doctor of divinity at the University of Cambridge. "The Bible speaks of a beast with seven horns and seven eyes, not a raven-haired woman from the north who knows not what foolishness she speaks of." --"Still, there's no denying it," Harwood added. "The End of Days is upon us."
One member of the crowd not torn apart by swarming lamiae told reporters he feared living in a country where his daughters would grow up speaking Spanish and not be allowed to carry handguns. -"Latest Sarah Palin Speech Opens 6th Seal" The Onion
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